Elphie, Why Is Boq In My Body?
by JesseMac Girl the Flinda Freak
Summary: Six flirty friends find themsleves switching places every time they kiss! Chaos and randomness ensues. Accompaniment/Parody to Catiggular's 'As Long As I'm You'. Now with hot OCs! Yay! Won second place for most humorous story!
1. Scandalicious? Or not?

**AN: Random idea that occurred to me on vaca. This is an accompaniment to Catiggular's fic 'As Long As I'm You', except a little more chaotic. And hopefully funnier. Btw, she's my sis and I have permission to write this. If you don't believe me, ask her. It may get a little confusifying, but I left you guys a note halfway through. Well, Tig did. Oh, I forgot to mention that we collaborated on this. So it could be published on either of our accounts.**

**Disclaimer: Random. And if I owned Wicked, this fic would be a Broadway play sequel.**

**Information:**

**Title: Elphie, Why Is Boq In My Body? (forgive me for the possible innuendo!)**

**Rated: T, for innuendo and A LOT of kissing**

**In-Depth Summary: Madame Morrible puts a curse on Elphaba, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa and Avaric: every time they kiss, they switch bodies. Social lives crash and burn! Guys flirting with guys! Eye Candy! Slightly drunk, but hot waiters! All the good stuff! **

**NOTE: No one is dating. Really. People have commented on this, they think Glinda and Fiyero are going out. Actually, in the first draft, they were. And Glinda was cheating with Avaric, Fiyero was cheating with Elphaba, but they decided to stay together and continue their love affairs. I revised! Everyone is just friends, okay? It's easier to write and I like it better like this. But I do have a little Fiyeraba, Glinaric and Bessa planned for, like, Chapter 10, okay? But everyone will STILL be friends.**

Madame Morrible was fed up. The students of Shiz University were kissing way too much. _Waayyy_ too much. It was just college!

She was going to do something about it.

A curse. Curses always solved problems, even though they were incredibly difficult. Morrible took out her wand, flipping through a spell book. Almost right away, a curse on page 927 caught her eye. The college headmistress smiled and thought about which students she would hex.

Her sorcery students were getting way too much lip action. That was two people.

The slacker that was kissing them…him too. And his clone-like friend definitely deserved a curse.

Morrible thought four people were enough work already, but a loud…smacking…noise was coming from the Governor's daughter's bedroom. She and her boyfriend would be the final receivers of the curse.

Her smile widened. This was sure to be epic…

* * *

Fiyero and Elphaba were alone in his room. And things were certainly heating up.

"Elphie, I'm having a sudden horomone. Will you please kiss me?"

"You mean hormone. And Fiyero, come on. Do you know how weirded out the rest of our friends would be?"

"Screw our friends. I'm having a craving to kiss someone."

Elphaba had to laugh. "You're talking about it like…like brownies! Craving? No, I am not kissing someone because they are 'craving to kiss someone'! Clearly, I am not chocolate."

"Course not, you're green. Chocolate is only green when it turns bad."

"Thanks, Fiyero, for that _oh so insightful _comment."

"Sorry." He blushed. "I couldn't resist. Kiss me?"

"As a friend?"

"Of course." Fiyero winked, and pulled her into him. Their lips met and they kissed for one very short second before a dizzy sensation came over both of them and both pulled back.

Embarrassed, Elphaba stared at her lap.

And screamed.

Fiyero looked down at her and fell off his bed.

"You…you…You're me!"

Elphaba whimpered and looked down at his muscled frame. While she had muscle on her, this was clearly not her body. It wasn't green, for one thing.

She reached up to check her hair. _Way_ shorter.

"I'm you!" Fiyero cried, staring at his hands. "I'm a green chick!"

This is way freaky!" Elphaba muttered.

"Wait a sec. Are you me or do you just _look_ like me?"

She racked her brains. "I am…still me."

"Does that mean you're me or—"

"Fiyero. You are still you."

"How do you know?"

"You're brainless." Elphaba snapped. "Let's not kiss again or I'll have your brains too. Which means I won't have any.'

She was wrong. If they were to have tried that, nothing would have happened. Nothing at all.

"Let's not tell _any_one about this." Fiyero shuddered. "Just…act like me, okay? Not a ner—you."

"Of course we wouldn't want to ruin Fiyero Tiggular's precious reputation," Elphaba muttered. "I will, only if you act like me. Be smart, okay? You know what that is, right?"

"Elphie, I'm surprised. I know what smart is…from watching you."

She playfully rolled her eyes. "In the meantime, I'll find a solution." She thought in silence.

Fiyero stared. "Do you have any idea how weird I look _thinking_?"

* * *

Glinda was waiting outside history for her best friends. They were late,

but it wasn't like she minded missing class.

Finally, Fiyero and Elphaba walked towards her, both looking nervous and a little weirded out.

"Hey Elphie, Hey Fi. What's up?" Glinda bounced over to meet them, then hopped up and kissed Fiyero's cheek.

"NO!" Fiyero yelled, pushing her off. But it was too late. The dizzy sensation came over both of them and Elphaba found herself in another body once again. Glinda was completely confused. "What in Oz—"she looked down. "OHMIGOD I'm gorgeous!"

"And I'm blond," Elphaba grumbled.

"And I'm _green_," Fiyero, in Elphaba's body, added miserably. "This is getting way too weird."

Glinda looked to both of her friends.

"Why am I Fiyero? And why is someone _me_?"

_(Author's Note: Once a lot of people start switching, it's going to get really confusing who's who and stuff. So to help, the characters aren't called "Nessa" or "Fiyero." They're called NiB or FiG. The first letter is the mind or soul or whatever. The "i" stands for in, or "in the body of…" The last letter is the body. So NiB means Nessa in Boq's body, and FiG means Fiyero in Glinda's body.)_

"To make a long story short, Fiyero and I kissed and we switched places. And now, I guess since the 2 of you kissed, or rather me and you—"

"I kissed you?" GiF yelled.

"You kissed Fiyero who was actually me."

"I'm confused," FiE announced.

EiG sighed. "Okay. Fiyero, you are in my body. Glinda, you are in Fiyero's body—"

"Dream come true!" Glinda punctuated that with a squeal.

"DON'T SQUEAL," Fiyero snapped. "I am—you are me now. I am a guy. Act like a guy."

EiG rolled her eyes. "And I am in Glinda's body. We're still us, just in the wrong bodies."

"Great." FiE sighed. "How do we switch back?"

Before either girl could answer, Dillamond poked his furry head out the door. "Will you 3 be joining us today?"

"N—" Fiyero began, but EiG hit him. Hard.

"Yes, we're sorr—"

GiF elbowed her.

"I'll take that as a yes." The Goat held the door open. EiG walked right to the front row. GiF steered her to the back row and took the empty seat beside her.

"You guys," FiE whined. "Don't leave me to—"

"Go to the front row," EiG hissed.

Sulkily, FiE went and sat down next to the only person left—Boq.

"Hey Elphaba," he said friendlily.

"Dude, since when are we friends?" FiE scowled.

EiG threw a paper wad at his head.

"Ow." He threw it back, attracting the whole class's attention.

"Elphaba, please do not throw, "Dillamond chastised lightly.

EiG turned crimson—a new color for her, since her blush was a dark olive.

"Whatever," FiE muttered.

EiG sighed. This was going to be a long class.

FiE meanwhile, was having fun. He took out his notebook and started to draw. By the time Doctor Dillamond called on him, he had sketched out a goat in a circle with a slash through it. Dillamond's voice was so _loud_ up front.

"Miss Thropp, care to answer?"

"Nah." FiE tilted his chair back. Usually he had the back wall to lean against, but this time the chair tipped over backwards.

"Ow!#!!" he swore, and Dillamond looked horrified.

EiG buried her face in her hands. GiF patted her on the back with sympathy, as her friend blushed again.

"That…loser…is…so dead." EiG snarled.

FiE didn'tblush. Because he wasn't himself. No one would think _he_ fell over backward in his chair. Oz, he could do anything he wanted!

"Miss Thropp!" Dillamond snapped. "Kindly sit up!"

FiE pulled the chair up and sat down, smirking at EiG.

"Thank you. Now, continuing with my lecture on Animal Banns.

"Yay." FiE muttered.

Dillamond frowned and asked the class, "Who can tell me why the Bans began?"

EiG's hand shot up. GiF elbowed her.

"Don't _do _that!"

"Mr. Tiggular, kindly do not discourage Miss Upland from answering my question. Miss Upland, please continue. I am very pleasantly surprised by your participation."

FiE glared at GiF. Who glared at EiG. Who was glaring at FiE.

"Well, there wasn't really a reason why the Bans began, was there? I mean—"

As EiG prattled on about the Wizard's lack of explanation, GiF sunk lower and lower in her seat. Half the class was staring.

"Stop it! Stop, stop, stop!" whined GiF softly.

Mercifully, EiG finished her speech.

"Well done!" Dillamond praised. "Wonderful, in fact! Please, by all means, participate more! Elphaba, I know you always have so much to say on this topic. Would you like to elaborate?"

FiE turned around to his friends. GiF mouthed, _payback_. He obeyed, if only to have fun.

"Hell no, goat."

Everyone gasped.

Boq tugged his sleeve. "Elphie, since when did you get so…so…_scandalicious?_"

"Since always, shorty. When did you become so nerdy?"

Tears filled the Munchkin's eyes. FiE rotated in his seat to get praise and air high-fives from his friends, but only GiF was giggling (in a very girly way). Everyone else was gaping, and EiG was almost out cold.

Dillamond scowled. "Everyone, please take a 15 minute break and get control of yourselves." He walked into his office. "I need an aspirin."

GiF rushed up to Pfanee and ShenShen. She needed to talk to them; she had some very important news. "Ohmigod guys, I just got the cutest pink shoes—"

_Oh, __crap__._

"Fiyero, you're a guy." Pfanee pointed out. "Is there something we need to know…?"

She reddened. "Uh, no. I, um, meant to say _Glinda_ just got the cutest shoes. And, um, she told me to tell you because she had to…um…go…" GiF stammered.

Just then EiG appeared.

"Oh, hey, Glinda, Fiyero was just telling us about the shoes."

"Uh…what…shoes?"

Pfanee and ShenShen looked very suspiciously at GiF.

"Um, the _shoes you just told me to tell them about, __remember?_" GiF stared pointedly at EiG, who thankfully caught on.

"Oh, right, sorry, I'm such an airhead." EiG accidentally-on-purpose dissed.

"No you're not, _Glinda sweetie."_ GiF glared.

Just then, FiE slouched over. "Hey, what's up?"

Pfanee and ShenShen looked surprisedly at who they thought was Elphaba.

"So, wanna skip the rest of class and go get ice cream? I'll get Avaric." Fiyero asked them nonchalantly. Pfanee and ShenShen gaped. EiG closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.

"_Elphaba_, shouldn't you be _talking to Dillamond about the Animal Ban inst_ead of _skipping class the way __Fiyero__ would?" _EiG glared pointedly at FiE.

"_Ohhh, _right." FiE considered. "No."

Everyone stared.

"I'm gonna go find Av. Be right back." FiE ran over to Avaric.

"But you hate Avaric," ShenShen said to his/her retreating back in confusion.

Boq came over to their group. "Glinda, can I talk to you?" he asked EiG.

"No! No!" frantically mouthed GiF. All she could think at the moment was _my reputation will be ruined!_

"Sure, Boq." EiG followed Boq outside. She turned to the Munchkin, who still looked wounded from FiE's comments. "What's up?"

"Well…you know I sort of like you, right?"

_Sort of?_ He was insanely in love with her, for Oz sakes!

"Yes, Boq, I do."

He froze. "You called me Boq!"

"Yeah, that's your name."

"But…but...you always call me Bic!"

"I do? Oh, yeah, I do, don't I? Well, I've decided to _change my self-centered ways_." Elphaba said loudly enough that Glinda, in the classroom, could hear.

"That's wonderful—I mean, not that you are self-centered or anything." Boq babbled. "But, anyway, I was wondering if…if…you could kiss me…"

He looked like a puppy, begging for a bone. EiG couldn't bear to let him down. But she had to.

"Boq, I would love to, but—"

She couldn't get any further, for he had pressed his lips on hers, passionately kissing her. At least until the dizzy sensation, familiar to EiG, but not Boq came over that them.

"What the…" BiG looked down, surprise etched on his newly feminine face.

EiB stared down at her short, squat body. "I can explain."

"Please do." BiG said. He emitted a low whimper. "Why…am I…well, you?"

"All right. First, you need to know that I am not Glinda. I am Elphaba in Glinda's, never mind, your body."

"Huh?"

So EiB explained to BiG what had happened. His expression became even more bewildered throughout the story and his glossy mouth was wide open.

"So…whenever we kiss, we switch places?"

"I guess so." EiB sighed, praying she could switch with someone soon.

"Do we switch back by kissing?"

She shook her head. "Fiyero and I think that if we kiss again, we will actually _become_ each other. So don't kiss me again, okay?"

Now he looked like a kicked puppy.

"I'm sorry, Boq."

"I…I thought Glinda actually liked me!" he blubbered.

EiB rolled her eyes. "Let's go tell Glinda and Fiyero the news."

The two of them walked into the classroom and approached Avaric, GiF and FiE.

"Listen, guys." Elphaba began hesitantly. "Um, I don't know how to say this…Boq, you wanna tell them?"

GiF and FiE exchanged a confused glance.

"Elphie, why is Boq in my body?" GiF asked slowly.

**AN: Lol. You like? I promise there will be a lot more chaos later on, if that wasn't a lot. Reviews are love! Seriously, please review. All reviewers get cyber ice cream!**


	2. I'll Stop Living When You Do!

hh

**AN: Well, that was a wonderful response. Glad you guys liked it so much! And here's something weird—danderson mentioned Boq checking out Glinda's body when he was her! And Tig and I had just written in a scene about that! Total kismet, huh? So here is the second installment, hope you guys like it!**

Nessa rose wheeled as quickly as she could to the history building. She hated that her crush and his friends were seniors while she was a lowly sophomore. They weren't in any classes together unless you count having the same lunch hour.

Nessa glided up the ramp, hit the open door button and wheeled herself down the hall. Finally, she saw Boq, Glinda, Elphaba, and Fiyero walking down the hall.

"Um, listen, Nessa—"Boq began.

"Say no more." Nessa said seductively. She placed her hands on his shoulders and lifted herself up into his arms.

"Nessa-NO!" Boq cried, but she pressed her lips on his. A dizzy sensation came over both of them and EiN fell down.

"Ow!" she howled.

NiB squeaked and promptly fell down. Hesitantly, she got up and wobbled. "I…I can walk!"

"And I can't!" EiN whined.

NiB looked over at EiN and fell over again. "It's me!" she screamed.

"Um, about that Nessa…uh, look in here." BiG handed over a compact mirror he had found in Glinda's pu8rse. Nessa checked her reflection, screamed, and fell over yet again.

"Why am I Boq!" she screeched.

The four friends explained to Nessa about the kiss'n'switch curse that had now affected a fifth student. "Hi Boq!" she trilled. And how it was not really Boq she kissed.

"Nessa," BiG began guiltily.

"Yeah, Glinda? Oh wait, are you Fiyero, cause you and Glinda probably kissed by now"

"Um, I'm neither. Really sorry Nessa, but that was Elphaba you just kissed. Um, I—"

"Elphaba Thropp!" Nessa shouted. "You kissed my crush! Why you sinf—"

No! Nessie, calm down." EiN sighed and took about a full 60 seconds to turn the wheelchair around to face NiB. "Let's start form the beginning."

"Oh, you mean where you steal the one thing in my life I truly care about and want? Why of course, by all mean proceed." NiB's voice dripped nastiness and sarcasm.

"Nessa, no! Okay, so...Fiyero and I—Elphie—kissed. Now I'm in Fiyero and he's in me." EiN explained.

"Then _I _kiss Fiyero, and I—Glinda—am in Fiyero and Elphie's in Me and Fiyero's still in Elphie." GiF continued.

"And—really sorry Nessa—I asked GLinda to kiss me, not knowing she was really Elphie." BiG said apologetically.

"And feeling sorry for him, I did, because Fiyero gave him a hard time in history, and I totally forgot the curse." EiN finished. "So now I'm in you, Nessa, you're in Boq, Boq's in Glinda, Glinda's in Fiyero, and Fiyero's in me."

"Boq, that was mean of you." Nessa admonished. "But I forgive you."

"Sorry.  
" repeated BiG like he didn't really mean it. "Oh, something just occurred to me…what are we going to do tonight?"

"We'll have to sleep where our body is supposed to go. If we're caught in the wrong dorm…" EiN said.

"Hmm, what if we can't change back?" BiG said. He looked quite giddy at the chance to have all-access to his crushes naked body…even if he _was_ his crushes naked body.

Just then the bell rang. "Let's meet after class, café." GiF suggested. "Oh, wait Nessa what class do you have now?"

"Art history, my minor, and my report's due. See you." she departed, and the other's followed her lead.

BiG happily trotted toward his social science class. Someone was calling Glinda's name repeatedly, and Boq spun around, always eager for the sight of the pretty blonde.

"Glinda, I'm right here!" said the someone.

BiG looked around again…and remembered that he _was_ Glinda.

"Oh! Crap—who said that?"

"Me of course," said Avaric, appearing beside him.

"Oh, hi, Avaric." BiG replied.

"Sorry I couldn't see you during break…detention." Avaric rolled his yes.

"That's too bad. Well see you later." BiG said.

"Hey, what about my kiss?" Avaric asked playfully.

_Oh, crap._ Glinda regularly kissed Avaric? This was news to Boq.

"Avaric, you can't—" BiG said frantically. But it was too late. Avaric put a finger to BiG's lips, pulled her(him?) in close, and their faces were just inches apart.

"NO—" and their lips met. For the second time, Boq experienced the dizzy feeling.

"Whoa, I just had the hugest dizzy spell!" AiG exclaimed in Glinda's high-pitched voice, and immediately cleared his throat. "Maybe another kiss will help."

"NO, NO, NOOO!!" BiA screamed. If kissing someone a second time _did_ switch brains, Boq would be serious out of luck: besides Fiyero, Avaric had the lowest GPA in the grade. And besides Elphaba, Boq had the highest. He vaguely wondered how Elphaba could stand Fiyero being in her body.

"GOD that felt weird!" BiA said. "Avaric, look at me."

AiG looked. AiG screamed Glinda's signature squeal.

"Avaric, I am Boq, now trapped in your body. You are on Glinda's body. You just kissed me—my mind, anyhow."

AiG spat on the ground.

"See, there's this curse…" and BiA explained about their kissing fate.

"When he was done, AiG asked, "How do we switch back?"

"Nobody knows, yet. But you'll have to _**be**_Glinda. Act like her, talk like her, do everything she would do, except: NO kidding anyone. Oh, and we're all meeting at the café after class." As BiA finished, a thought occurred to him and his face fell.

"What?"

"I won't be able to shower or anything as Glinda now," he said, like a young child who had just realized that Lurline-a-clause wouldn't be bringing gifts anymore.

AiG slapped him on the shoulder. "Dude, you got it _bad_." and walked off to Glinda's next class.

Two hours later, the six of them met at the café. AiG and FiE arrived first, back from a disastrous sorcery class with Madame Morrible, who had seemed unusually cheerful. BiA slid in to the booth next, pleases by the sociology professor's comments on how much smarter he seemed. EiN was unhappily wheeled over by GiF, who promptly plopped herself down on BiA's lap.

"Ow! Dude—"

"Get off." FiE hissed. "Get off, get off, get off!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry Av, sorry Fiyero." GiF trilled. FiE whimpered and buried his face in BiG shoulder.

"Hey, Why are you here, Avaric?"

BiA and AiG explained about their kiss.

"Oh. Well, I think we need to figure this out." EiN glanced at her wheelchair. "Cuz, well, I don't exactly want to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair."

"Hey! Well I like having legs I can use!" NiB exclaimed.

"Sorry. So anyone have any idea how to switch back?"

"So you think kissing the person you already kissed again will switch the brains or something?" NiB wondered.

"Yeah. And it's too risky to try. I don't think I could stand my life if I were smart." FiE chucked and tapped his head.

"Don't say that as me; it's just wrong-sounding." shuddered EiN.

"Who you again?"

"_Focus_, guys!" NiB snapped. "This is not getting us anywhere."

"Alright! So, any ideas?" BiA pressed.

The group was silent.

"anything?"

More silence.

"I had an idea…not to switch back or anything, but…I think I we should get a townhouse to share, all 6 of us. You know, so everything's easier. Easy access." FiE explained, flashing his oh-so-persuasive smile.

"Fifi, that's brilliant!" GiF squealed, for once getting the person right.

"Surprise." FiE tapped his head again.

"Oh, I know—we should get a _penthouse_!"

"Yeah!!"

Three of the friends had been quiet for the duration of the discussion. NiB, BiA, and EiN exchanged a look.

"Um, who exactly will be paying for this penthouse?"

"Don't worry, Elphie! We'll take care of it!" GiF threw her arms around FiE and AiG.

EiN arched an eyebrow.

GiF rolled her eyes and sighed playfully. "It's called D-A-D-D-Y."

"Sorry, I've only ever known F-A-T-H-E-R."

"Elphaba! Father was good to us and that's all we should ask." NiB scolded.

"Don't worry, though, it's not a problem for us, seriously." FiE said kindly. NiB, BiA and EiN exchanged a must-be-nice look.

"Let's find out penthouse now, shall we? Nessa, my laptop's with you, I hope."

"Oh my GOD, never say the word 'shall' again as me. Ever." AiG shuddered.

"Fine. When Nessa stops checking out her own body."

NiB went bright pink. "Not that I am, or anything, but if I was, I'd stop when Elphaba learns to use the wheelchair."

"I'll learn when Fiyero gets over his faux-ignorance."

"My ignorance is _faux_-real! I'll get over it when Glinda stops squealing like a girl and checking out guys!"

"When Avaric stops checking out girls!"

Everyone busted out laughing.

As if on—or a moment late for—cue, GiF nudged FiE and whispered, "Oooh. Serious eye candy, next table down, blonde hair." It was whisper, but it carried halfway across the restaurant and the piece of eye candy heard every word. He turned around, saw GiF, and spat a "_Not interested."_

FiE turned an immediate green-tinted burgundy and kicked GiF under the table. Hard.

"Oh, you mean, um, the GIRL, uh, over at that table? I agree that SHE is eye candy. But I would say HER hair is light brown, not blonde." BiA practically shouted.

"Thanks, Boq." FiE slapped his buddy on the shoulder. "But my social standing has already crashed…the burning is soon to come. But, um, Boq?" FiE raised his brows skeptically. "Why did you have to pick the ugliest girl in the whole café to be my eye candy?"

The group burst in to laughter again.

"Well, every other girl either had like black hair or was on the other side of the restaurant from us!" BiA defended himself.

"Sorry Fiyero," whispered GiF guiltily.

"Let's find out penthouse! AiG said. "Boq?"

"Yup, got the computer." BiA took the computer from NiB and booted it up. "So, what exactly are we looking for in our penthouse?"

"Close to Shiz University, a bedroom for each of us so six, at least 4000 square feet, price doesn't matter." FiE rattled off instantly. "Actually, let me look." .

As FiE took the scratched black laptop from BiA, AiG said, "Oh, and six bathrooms, one for each of us."

"Whoever you are, are you freakin' kidding?" FiE said without looking up.

"Fine. Four bathrooms: chick in chick body bathroom, guy in guy body bathroom, chick in guy body bathroom, and a guy in chick body bathroom." AiG negotiated, looking proud of his logic.

"Dude, it's a penthouse. It has one bathroom. Do you want to try finding even a 2-bathroom penthouse?" FiE challenged.

"Not really."

"Thought not. Oh my god I just found the PERFECT one! Here, look!" FiE exclaimed excitedly.

Everyone crowded around the ancient Ozantosh laptop. NiB spit out her coffee upon seeing the price.

"Nessa, don't worry!" GiF told her. "Oz, it is perfect! Buy it now!"

FiE did, and he, GiF and AiG split the cost. The poorer three chipped in a bit, but their contributions barely made a dent in the huge expense.

"So when do we go?" NiB asked

"Let's see…today is Thursday and it says we can get it Saturday…so…so…that's, let's see, one—" FiE started counting on his fingers, frowning in confusion.

"Two days!" EiN practically spat.

"Say it, don't spray it." NiB sneered at her sister. "You're me, _remember_?"

"Oh, stop fighting." GiF giggled in her girly way. FiE looked very much like he wanted to hurt her, but he didn't want to anyone to see his body being attacked by a girl. So instead, he clutched his paper cup of coffee as hard as he could and glared.

EiN sighed and nodded. "You're right. Let's focus."

"Good idea." AiG said. Since he usually didn't agree with Elphaba in the least, this came as a surprise to everyone.

He caught the surprised looks and shrugged. "What? I'm trying to act like Glinda and she always agrees with Elphie!"

FiE nudged his blond kissing partner. So actually he was nudging himself. As his _other_ kissing partner—oh, never mind. "Yes, Glin, why don't you try acting like me. I mean, if Av can do it, you can."

"I'll try and all, but it's fun screwing up your life."

If Glinda hadn't been in his body, he would have knocked her coffee over on to her—his?—lap.

"Are we going to get back on focus or what?" EiN interrupted.

"Yeah, let's." BiA said as he twirled a coffee stirrer in his fingers. "We should pack at some point."

"Okay, how about we meet later tonight to talk some more?" EiN suggested.

"Great idea!" FiE finally stopped glowering at GiF and smiled. "How about…the Emerald Cuisine? You know, that new one across the street from the OzDust?"

"Oh yeah, Av and I went there last weekend! It's totally swankified!" GiF chirped. The Eye Candy snorted loudly from the next table over and FiE resumed his glaring at her.

NiB, EiN and BiA exchanged a look.

"Our treat." AiG said quickly and tactfully.

They relaxed and smiled.

"All right. Well, should we depart for our next class?" EiN proposed, instinctively standing up but falling right down in the wheelchair.

"Certainly." BiA concurred and AiG winced at the old-fashioned language. "Wait. Shall we exchange schedules? Just so we know where to go?"

"You can forget about that for me, since I won't be _going_ to class." FiE interjected, clearly taking a leaf out of Glinda's book and ruining his body's' reputation.

EiN took several soothing deep breaths and counted to ten.

BiA, ever the peacekeeper, said quickly, "Well, maybe we should try and act like who we are. Everyone will be much happier that way and people won't think we're round the bend."

AiG nodded curtly. "This means no talking like a choir boy, Boq."

His friend flushed. "My father was the mayor of my town! I _had_ to join the church choir!"

"If your father was mayor, why aren't you rich?" GiF asked curiously.

"Enough." EiN snapped. "Let's just switch schedules and go."

She had only just finished saying this when her wheelchair tipped over. The entire café stared and her friends busted out laughing again.

**AN: R&R, please! I **_**love**_** making dedications and using people's ideas, so maybe you should do something dedication worthy! **_**hint hint!**_


	3. I Swear On My Flirtini I'm Straight!

**AN: Hello everyone! :) I'm glad to see people actually reading this story (thank u Reader Traffic) but I think more people should review! A **_**BIG**_** thank you to my reviewers who did review…I mean readers. I think I'll dedicate this to Embers of Twilight who very nicely reviewed both chappies. Thank you. :). (see? just review a lot and you can have a dedication too!) oh, and btw…no one is dating. Boq likes Glinda and Nessa likes Boq, obvy, but Glinda, Fiyero and Avaric are just all friends. They just like to kiss. Well, Glinda and Avaric and Glinda and Fiyero. And Fiyero also likes kissing Elphie, but that's all. Thanks to danderson, whose comment brought this to my attention! Ok, I think I'll shut up now. :)**

At four o'clock, when classes let out, the six friends met up at the fountain. Even EiN had tuned out the professor to do some thinking about the very large problem at hand. Unfortunately, no one had come up with any solutions.

"Come on, guys, think." FiE coaxed. "I'm having the worst time in class…"

"I'm sure you are." EiN remarked.

"I think Fiyero should think," suggested NiB.

"Oh no. I hate trying new things!" FiE said, horrified.

"Well, think of how _I'm_ feeling, having to watch you as me." EiN said. "You know, there's a good brain up there." she tapped FiE's skull, which was actually her own. "Use it."

"Like you would know about the size of my brain," scoffed FiE.

"Um, yeah." EiN flicked his head. "I would, seeing as it's my brain!"

"Wha—oh, I GET it now!" cheered FiE, proud of himself. EiN rolled her eyes forcefully.

"Instead of quarreling, why don't we proceed to the restaurant," suggested BiA, who promptly received a punch from AiG for his weird speech habits. It obviously didn't make much of an impression—Glinda's arms had, if any, tiny muscles—because BiA continued, "No need to get your trousers in a knot, I was just making a proposal. Who concurs with me?"

AiG let out a noise resembling a squirrel getting strangled who just lost all of its acorns.

Not a pretty noise.

"_Avaric_, don't _do_ that! You make me sound like some disgusting insane animal!" GiF shrieked.

"Yeah, well, easy for you to say, at least I don't sound like I popped out of some 18th century British farmhouse." grumbled AiG.

"About Boq's, um, _proposal_, let's go, okay? Cause we're not exactly getting anywhere the way we're going now." EiN said.

They got an ozaxi-cab, squished in, and rode to the restaurant, arguing the whole way about other people's portrayals of themselves and other god-knows-what, so that by the end of the ride, the driver was giving them very strange looks.

"How much will the summation total to?" BiA asked the driver.

"Boq, for the last time, don't use big words when you're me! You're making me look bad and don't ask like that, you make me sound poor!" shouted AiG. The driver made a face that clearly meant _kuh-raaaaaaazzyyyy_ and checked his pricing chart.

"Foulty-aet uzbooks," he said in an extremely strong southeast-quadling accent.

"Forty-eight? Assuming my calculations are accurate, it should be thirty-nine. Unless I am mistaken?" BiA pressed.

The driver shrugged. "You geeve Morleeng Booldair headahk. Morleeng Booldair need eegstra uzbooks. Morleeng Booldair charge moor."

"Morning Boulder, is it? Well I demand to be given the rights bestowed upon all passeng—"

"_Boq_, give it a rest! Here's forty-eight, Morning Bolder. And please don't do that, Boq sweetie, Avaric now sounds totally…um…um…" GiF grasped for a word.

"Impoverished?" EiN supplied.

"Exactly!" GiF exclaimed triumphantly, finger-gunning at her best friend gratefully. "Um, what does impoverished mean?"

EiN closed her eyes in an please-someone-give-me-an-aspirin sort of way.

Six cranky college students entered the Emerald Cuisine restaurant and were seated by a young Gillikinese man.

"Hello, I'm Bryan and I will be your server for tonight. Can I get you anything to start with?" he said smoothly.

"Um, beer." said FiE nervously—he had just noticed that The Eye Candy was seated at the table across from them, and was watching. FiE swore under his breath. EiN tried to kick him, but succeeded in almost falling out of her wheelchair

"My usual Shirley Temple," chirped NiB, "With a real cherry, please, not maraschino." She also received a kick.

"A beer for me, too." AiG said lazily.

"You can get _me_ a date with _you_ tonight, and that'll be everything I want for the evening," cooed GiF. The whole table fell silent, and beside them, The Eye Candy let out an incredulous noise halfway between a laugh and a shout.

"Oh, son of a bunny," uniquely cursed GiF. The Eye Candy busted out into stifled guffaws.

FiE had sunk so low in his chair that barely his eyes were visible over the tablecloth.

"Um, I meant, uh, a Flirtini with a pink umbrella and an orange peel on the rim," stammered GiF, not realizing that she had actually worsened the situation. Again, The Eye Candy widened his eyes in incredulous amusement and laughed openly.

"He means, um, that the, um, Flirtini is for…uh, me. And he'll have…" EiN looked to FiE, trying to save him.

"A beer," growled FiE. "He is having a beer, darkest one you have."

"Oh, but I just hate those, Fi! They smell icky! I want my Flirtini!" whined GiF. She received a death-stare from FiE and quickly added, "I mean, beer it is." In undertones, she said to EiN, "I'll just switch with you when they come, I guess." Unfortunately, The Eye Candy heard this, along with everything else, and smirked hugely.

"Still not interested, Bunny-Son." Eye Candy called. "Sorry!"

Bryan took the rest of the orders and disappeared into the kitchen, disconcerted.

"Fi?" questioned GiF meekly. She received a look that could have killed half the Shiz population.

"Um, Fi, why don't we forget this little episode never happened? Okay, Fifi? Fifi? I'm really sorry. Fifi!" GiF shouted.

"You are not quite at the top of my happy list, Glinda. More toward the—how did you just put it there so lovelily—oh, yeah, _Bunny_ list." FiE glowered scarily.

Somehow, someone distracted them from their argument and got everyone back on the topic of switching back to who you were supposed to be.

"I apologize for bursting anyone's bubble, but in my opinion I don't think trying all sorts kissing experiments will work in the middle of a restaurant." BiA told them.

"That's true Boq, good point." praised NiB. "I agree totally—"

"Wait, aren't you Boq? Why did you just—no, hang on, the guy who was just using big words is Boq. Then who are you? Uh hmmmm, who would say something nice about Boq? Oh I know, Nessa! She's the only one. Okay I got it. I am so smart sometimes." FiE rambled uselessly. "Okay, go on."

EiN hit her head on the table repeatedly.

"Great, I lost my train of thought." grumbled NiB. "Thanks, Fiyero."

"Okay, now who's Fiyero?" FiE asked.

"Wait aren't you?" EiN asked.

"Uh, I don't know."

"Yup, that's him, the only one dumb enough not to know who he is." EiN said dryly. "It's you," she told FiE.

"How will we, like, get dressed tomorrow? I for one, no offense Av, don't trust someone else to pick out my outfit. I have to look just right." GiF announced. The Eye Candy snickered loudly.

"Hmm. We can IM each other, or oztext-message each other. That way we can talk without leaving the dorm." AiG decided.

"We have to remember to oztext the body of the person we want to talk to. Like, if I oztexted Boq right now, I would have oztexted—me, I guess." NiB explained.

"Run that by me a few hundred more times," said FiE. "Maybe on the four hundredth time by I'll actually get it."

"Okay." NiB took a deep breath. "I text your number. But I don't get you. I get Glinda. With me so far?"

"Nope. Go on."

"Me either." AiG added.

NiB sighed. "If I want to contact you, I oztext Elphaba, because you are in her body, and have her phone. Got it?"

"Um, no. I don't see why I can't just take my phone." FiE grumbled.

"Fiyero—that was really smart!" EiN sounded genuinely surprised. "Seriously!"

"Whoa!" FiE was even more surprised, if possible.

"Everyone put your ozphone on the table."

Everyone did.

"Now take the one that's actually yours."

Everyone but Fiyero did.

"Fiyero, that one's yours. Take it."

"But what if I'm not Fiyero?"

"It's the only one left. Take it."

"How do I know I'm Fiyero?"

"Take the ozphone, Fiyero." EiN was no longer surprise-impressed.

"What if that ozphone isn't Fiyero's?"

"Okay. Is anyone here Fiyero? No? You're Fiyero."

"Oh. Okay. Whose ozphone is that?"

"It's yours. I just told you!"

"Are you sure? What if it's not mine?"

"Who else's would it be, Fiyero?"

"Maybe someone's confused and has the wrong ozphone."

"Does everyone have the right ozphone? Yes? That's your ozphone, Fiyero. Take it."

"What if I'm not Fiyero?"

"YOU ARE FIYERO NOW TAKE THE FREAKIN' OZPHONE!!"

"Okay, okay! Sheesh! Um, who are you again?"

"Who's green and black and smart all over?"

Fiyero thought long and hard on this one. "Is it meanish?"

"Yes. It's a she."

"Elphaba!"

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

EiN gritted her teeth. "Now, have you stopped spacing out yet or should I hit you over the head with the chair?"

AiG snickered. "You can't cuz you're in a wheelchair!"

She rolled her eyes and aimed a kick at him under the table. Unfortunately, she forgot about her disability. "Glinda, give him a kick for me."

"Okay!" GiF said cheerfully, eager to please someone after the bunny incident. She promptly kicked AiG. Hard.

"Ow!" AiG complained. "Glin, you're Fiyero. You don't need to hit as hard for it to hurt."

"Sorry Av." she apologized right away, not wanting _both_ her hot guy friends to be mad at her.

NiB shook her head. "It is sinful to injure other people, Glinda."

BiA turned to AiG. "See!? You thought my language was bad…look at what _I_ have to deal with."

"Karma, dude, karma. What goes around comes around."

Bryan arrived with their drinks and passed them out. As soon as he left, GiF reached for her Flirtini, but FiE grabbed her wrist.

"No. No. No. You do not deserve that…that…_son of a bunny_ Flirtini_…_after what happened.

GiF jerked her arm away and, in the process of doing so, knocked the Flirtini over. AiG burst out laughing and looked wickedly over at a mortified FiE.

"Um, Bryan? Can we have a new Flirtini…my friend knocked it over…" He pointed to GiF, rolling his eyes like _isn't he pathetic?_

"Thanks, Av." sneered FiE. "If you are ever need my help again, I'll remember that."

Bryan cough-laughed and nodded. "Sure thing, Miss."

"Dude...I'm a guy—ow!"

GiF took advantage of Fiyero's impressive muscles and punched him in the arm.

Bryan looked at AiG like he was crazy. "I'll just…get that Flirtini…" He hurried away, mumbling something about how insane people shouldn't be allowed in public restaurants.

BiA spoke up before his friends could start killing each other. "Shall we initiate the discussion we arrived here to undertake?"

"Huh?" GiF said, confused.

EiN smirked at AiG, who was reddening and staring down at the table in obvious embarrassment. "He means to say 'should we start talking about our problem?'."

"What problem?" FiE asked perplexedly.

She banged her head on the table again, before NiB snapped "Elphaba! Self-harm and suicide is a sin! Stop it! Now!"

_(AN: True story. My friend has a book of useless facts, and there is some law somewhere that said if you tried to commit suicide ,which was illegal, you were hanged. And I thought that was hysterical.)_

BiA glared. "Nessa, kindly discontinue your religious instincts. Immediately."

"Boq, kindly discontinue your outdated vocab instincts. Immediately." AiG mocked.

EiN banged her spoon on her bottle of dark beer. "Guys. Focus."

BiA opened his mouth to agree—or concur—but AiG slapped a manicured hand over his mouth.

"Don't you dare," he hissed.

"Av, you look nuts," GiF said. "Which normally I find sexy, but not right now."

Eye-Candy glanced over, saw her about the plant a kiss on BiA's cheek, out of habit, forgetting it was actually Boq, and spit out his mouthful of beer. FiE threw the salt shaker at them and they stopped just in time.

"Ow," GiF cried. "Do you know where you just hit me?"

FiE buried his face in the table. He just couldn't win.

"You know, that actually hurts," GiF continued blithely. Before FiE could hit her with the pepper shaker, the waiter came back with the Flirtini and a basket of bread.

"Try not to know this over," he said to GiF sternly.

AiG snatched two rolls out of the warm basket as soon as it touched the table.

"Av, no!" GiF exclaimed. "I watch my carbs!"

"So do I," EiN added to FiE, who had busied himself buttering several white rolls, the kind with cheese baked on top.

"You aren't you, who cares if the body you're in gets fat?" BiA said logically. He was too distracted sloppily cutting his roll in half to use his old-fashioned vocabulary.

"Give me those!" GiF shrieked. She and NiB attacked the bread like vultures devouring a disgusting carcass. EiN tried to eat some too, but her sister held the basket out of reach.

"Sorry Elphaba, but you're never going to get any exercise as me, so all those carbs will just turn into fat." She used a knife to carefully split her roll in perfect halves. BiA rolled his eyes.

"Nessa. God. It's just a roll. No need to get all religious and weird about it."

"Look who's talking." BiA stabbed his fork in his friend's direction. "You ripped yours up into bite sized pieces."

EiN groaned. "Don't flip out over the bread too."

FiE smirked. "We aren't flipping out. Dude, it's really, _really_ good bread, seriously. It's all buttery and warm and—"

"Okay! Okay!"

He continued to torture her. "Man, it's too bad you can't have a piece. It's, like, the best bread I've ever had, all fresh and—"

"Shut up about the freakin' bread!" EiN practically shouted.

"Elphaba Thropp! The unnamed God disapproves of…" NiB lowered her voice to a whisper, hoping no one heard her utter the offensive words 'Shut up.' "And 'freakin''?! Where did you learn those scandalous words?"

"You aren't her mother," AiG said with an eye roll.

BiA kicked him under the table. "Her mother is _dead_," he mouthed.

"Oops…" AiG mouthed. "I mean, you aren't her father."

"Her father doesn't like her." BiA mouthed back.

AiG shrugged. "I just can't win, can I?"

"Where, Elphaba?" snarled NiB, face crimson.

"Fiyero," mumbled EiN almost incoherently.

Before Nessa could start attacking the Winkie prince, Bryan came back.

"Have you arrived at a decision for your meal?"

They exchanged panic-filled looks and debated between ordering their bodies' or their minds' preferences.

GiF broke the silence. "Um, he—I mean she—will have the house salad." She pointed to AiG, who shrugged and ordered for BiA, who ordered for NiB, etc.

Bryan looked like he was about to ask why they were ordering for other people, but seemed to decide it wasn't worth it. He disappeared into the kitchen again, muttering something about "freaks", "what I put up with to pay for college" and "better tip well".

GiF stared after him longingly. "He's so cute…"

"I think Eye Candy is cuter." NiB disagreed quietly.

"Me too…" EiN murmured dreamily. All the guys rolled their eyes at each other and FiE shot GiF a look before she could go on about Eye Candy's good looks or whatever it was they liked about him .

She just made it worse. "Yeah, well, I think Av is cuter."

Eye Candy let out a very loud sigh of relief and mouthed to BiA _Good luck!_

"Hey, watch your mouth, buddy! I so do not want to be with him any more than you—"

"Boq, I mean Avaric, calm down." NiB soothed apologetically. "You like Eye Candy better, anyway, remember?"

BiA glared murderously and nose-breathed loudly.

Apparently oblivious to everyone else, GiF sighed blissfully and continued her monologue. "And Fiyero's just as sexy as Avaric. That kiss last night with Fifi was just _so_ amazing…"

"Wait, I thought he was Fiyero." interrupted Eye Candy, who had obviously been eavesdropping.

"He talks about himself in third person." assured EiN, not taking her eyes off him.

Eye Candy widened his eyes in disgust and made a revolted face. "If he hadn't already turned me off, that did."

"Oh crap, that sounded wrong." muttered EiN, realizing the meaning of GiF's careless words. "Ew!"

FiE had an expression halfway between nausea and tears.

"Aw, I'm sorry Fi." GiF touched his arm, her eyes wide with regret.

"Hang on!" Eye Candy cried. "If she's Fi and you're Fi…I don't get it…"

"Um…" GiF began, biting her lip.

"Oh, I get it. Is her Fi short for Fifi? I think that's a girl name…"

FiE looked daggers first at GiF, then at Eye Candy. "Stop spying on us, Blondie."

"Hey!" GiF and AiG squeaked simultaneously.

"Okay, okay." Eye Candy turned back around, rolling his beautiful blue eyes. "Sor-ry. Your friend seems to like it, that's all." He waved a hand towards GiF. "But dude, I like chicks. Case closed."

FiE leaned in, glancing around to make sure they weren't overheard by a certain blonde at the next table over. "Okay, I think we need to set some rules."

"Like, no acting like a freak." AiG suggested helpfully, glancing at BiA

"And no checking out guys." FiE added, with a grateful nod towards his friend. "Because my reputation is in the dust. And I'm sure Elphie's is too."

"It doesn't have to be." EiN said. "You _could_ act smart."

"Well, that's no fun."

"Well, then, you shouldn't complain about Glin checking out guys."

"Yeah! What am I supposed to do, check out girls?" GiF interrupted squeakily.

" That would be preferable. Anyway, I think we make some rules. Just so everyone is happy."

"How about we follow the Golden Rule?" NiB said.

"Ooh, yeah! I love gold, it's the new silver!" GiF clapped her hands excitedly, receiving a eye roll from Eye Candy.

"What _is_ the Golden Rule?" AiG asked.

"Treat others how you want to be treated."

"Oh, Oz, you did not just say that. That is so flippin' corny."

"Oh, Oz, you did not just say that. That is so—" NiB air quoted. "'Flippin'' pathetic."

"Hey, dude, that was uncalled for." AiG punched her on the arm.

"Well, if you had followed the Golden Rule—"

"Dude, we get it." FiE smacked the table.

"The Unnamed God does not approve of—" NiB began heatedly.

And thus, the friends began to argue again.

**AN: Haha, that was so long. I hope you liked it…I'll try and get the next part of the Emerald Cuisine chappie out ASAP…cuz people are actually reading this! And for those of you who don't have an account, I do accept anonymous reviews! I mean, it's only a 30 second task, really. So review!! Thank you :)**


	4. Of Credit Cards and Squirrels

AN: Hey, here's Chappie 4

**AN: Hey, here's Chappie 4. Sorry for the wait…I had, like, three drafts of this. :). I know, I'm sure you guys would be happy with anything so long as it was funny, but I wasn't. :( And, I hope u kno that I **_**missed Project Runway to type part of this**_**. Hope u like it! Anywho, here is Chapter 4!!**

**Dedication: greengirl16 has reviewed twice now…(I'm impressed easily.) So this chapter is for you :)!!**

Within ten minutes, Bryan had come back with soup and salad for everyone. He was distributing the bowls moodily when he accidentally spilled vegetable bisque on NiB's lap.

"Ah, crap!" he cried on horror. EiN could practically see the thought bubble above his head reading _there goes my tip._

"Do not use that word in my presence." NiB growled, not looking at her lap, but at the apologetic waiter.

Or maybe it was a golden dollar sign going poof, EiN mused. Either though brought a wide smirk on to her face.

"Dude, I'm so sorry." Bryan said, brushing light brown bangs out of his eyes. They were so sweaty, they stuck straight up in a row of spikes. "Really."

"Looks like someone has their trousers in a knot." snickered FiE, accepting a high-five from AiG and GiF. BiA swung a muscled leg at them and hit AIG who squeaked in pain, used to being the inflictor of pain, not the inflicted.

"Dude, seriously. I feel awful. I'm really sorry." Bryan apologized again. "Anyone wanna hand me a napkin?"

"Anything for you, Gorgeo—" GiF began, but FiE whacked his body on the shoulder, and she changed course, stammering "Um, George. Yeah. Anything, George."

Bryan raised his eyebrows, looking at her like she was a couple raisins short of a trail mix. "Uh, it's Bryan." He held out a hand and a red-faced GiF passed him her napkin.

"You can forget about the tip." BiA said icily, his emerald green eyes boring holes into Bryan. If looks could kill, the waiter would have been deep-fried within seconds.

His face clouded. "Oh, crap! Crap, crap, _crap_!"

"Stop saying that!" NiB snarled.

And she would have been slow-roasted in Gillikinese barbeque sauce.

"Sorry, I just—" Bryan sighed and wiped his clammy brow. "I go to this really expensive college in the Emerald City, y'know, and I have financial aid, but it still isn't cheap. So I really need this job and…yeah."

"Aw, I know how it feels." BiA said with a sudden change of heart.

"No you don't _Av darling_, you're rich." AiG said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, um, of course." the Munchkin stuttered, glancing around the table desperately. "I mean, well, _Elphie_" he gestured at the green girl. "She knows how it feels."

It took all of EiN's willpower to not turn him into one of the ice cubes she was crunching wickedly.

FiE, however, was simple confused. "I do not! I'm a prince, I'll have you know! Is it how I dress? Cuz, you know, I'm not poor just because I don't go around in tuxes—"

"And you aren't that brainless, _Elphie_ _sweetie._" EiN said loudly, narrowing her eyes.

For the first time, Bryan didn't treat the group like patients at an insane asylum. "Guys, let's just not tell the manager, okay? A little secret between…friends?"

"Oh, so now you like us." AiG muttered.

EiN shrugged and shot him an understanding grin. "Of course." He was actually pretty cute and she hoped he realized how nice she was being as opposed to the other girls.

Until she remembered she was her sister.

Bryan flashed a dazzling smile back and winked. "Thanks a lot. I'll remember that if I ever need a date for a party."

GiF kicked her body, jealous. "Say something!"

"But you always go to parties with me or Fiyero." he replied, perplexed.

"As friends, as friends _only_." growled FIE, disbelieving that his reputation could get any worse than it was.

GiF flexed a muscle and glared. Scared for his (screwed-up) life, AiG spluttered reluctantly. "Um, why would we tell the manager? You're too…cute?" He collapsed down in his chair, having broken into a nervous sweat.

GiF blew a kiss.

Bryan shook his head. "Yeah, you know, that would be a lot nicer if you didn't look like a gun was held to your head." He turned around and slouched back to the kitchen.

"Way to blow it, Av." GiF pouted, crossing her arms unhappily.

"I tried, okay? Do _you_ want to tell a girl how hot she is? Maybe then you'll understand that it is possibly one of the most awkward things I have ever done." AiG sent her a final glare and started spooning soup into his mouth like it was the last meal he would ever have.

"Hungry?" EiN asked sarcastically.

He ignored her sarcasm and began shoveling Caesar salad into his haphazardly glossed mouth. "All I have for dinner is a flipping salad! I have to eat. Sorry, Glin , but I don't care about any weight loss things you have going."

GiF stuck her tongue out. "Fine, you do that. You'll regret it later, though, believe me."

A short while later, Bryan trudged back to their table with the next course. He flashed a sparkling grin at EiN, completely ignored AiG and shot an apologetic grimace at NiB.

"Enjoy the soup and salad?" he asked automatically, clearing dishes.

"Sure." FiE mumbled almost incoherently, defiantly staring at the waiter. Two out of the three girls there were gazing at him, a ferocious longing on their faces. Hello, why weren't they looking at _his_ body like that? He made a face at AiG who rolled his eyes back. They could only be grateful Bryan didn't go to Shiz.

EiN nudged him and passed him a napkin. He looked at it in confusion until he finally saw a message scrawled in mascara. The green girl didn't usually wear makeup, but she was in Nessa's body, who wore a little (to impress Boq, of course).

The message was slightly illegible, but he was able to make it out after studying it for a couple of seconds.

_flirt w/ him!_

He just crumpled up the napkin and threw it at her.

Bryan jumped in. "Hey, Green Girl, don't hurt Wheelchair!"

It was hard to say who got the meaner look: Bryan or FiE.

"Anyways, can I get you guys anything else?" The waiter smoothed over the silence, clearly sucking up to them to salvage what was left of his tip.

"I'll have another beer." BiA said lazily, leaning back in his chair. If Glinda was so impressed with Avaric, she would be impressed with him if he acted like Avaric, right?

"_He'll_ have another beer, too." FiE pointed to his body.

"And a Flirtini!" GiF chimed in perkily.

"He means two beers."

"Jerk." GiF pouted.

"_Girl._" Eye Candy called over from the next table.

"Stalker, much?" AiG called back, grabbing a crouton out of someone's salad bowl and hurling it at the offending blonde.

"Ow! You guys just talk loudly!"

Bryan grabbed his wrist. "Good aim, sweetheart, but no fighting in the restaurant. We're not three, okay?"

GiF almost swooned. "Aw, do you like her?"

"Not paticu—"

"Um, yeah, Got it!" AiG chirped in a pathetic imitation of the blonde. "So, do you do shots?"

"I wouldn't have pegged you as the shot type." Bryan said.

"Um, I wouldn't have pegged you as the jerky type—oh wait, I did!" AiG sneered, flipping his long hair amateurishly but effectively.

"In that case, no we do not have shots." Bryan sneered back.

This time, GiF did swoon. She couldn't believe her life could get screwed up too—how could Av turn on her like this?

"Well, that's all." EiN said loudly. "Thanks and goodbye!"

Bryan looked like a kicked puppy. "Oh, fine. I can always find another date. Like maybe Green Girl over there."

_That_ was more like it.

"She's Elphaba," EiN told him.

"Wait, me?" FiE looked around. EiN glared and widened her eyes. "Oh, yeah, me." he said. EiN waved behind Bryan's back to get FiE's attention and frantically mouthed _Flirt!! _FiE wrinkled his green nose in disgust. "No! I'm not going to fl—"

"You're not going to—to—um, uh, _flout_ the, erm, rules tomorrow, because…because you're on scholarship, and understand how Bryan feels, and you, um, feel a great sense of sympathy and compassion for him?" EiN improvise-rambled. "Oh. Whatever. I don't care at all," she said as coldly and indifferently as possible.

Bryan frowned. "Way to be mean."

EiN smiled. It was exactly the reaction she had hoped for—if she couldn't get Fiyero to flirt as her, she could ruin the chances of the other girls. At least her sister.

NiB oven-broiled EiN with her fuming scowl.

Bryan had resumed his these-people-are-definitely-wackos look. "Um, why was I here again, and when can I leave?"

BiA shot him an annoyed expression. "You've been standing here for nearly the whole meal, and you're welcome to leave anytime." He knew he should be nicer, but he was cranky since his crush, crusher, and friend were all basically swooning over the waiter.

"Calm down, dude." Bryan said, slightly hurt.

"No, stay." FiE told Bryan, earning himself a rewarding glance from Elphaba. "You were here for drinks or something. A beer for me."

"Believe me, you don't want more than one bottle in a night." EiN advised. "Trust me."

"Whatever!"

"Since I'm Boq—Boq, you have a strong stomach, right sweetie?—I'll have another Shirley Temple. Like, the alcoholic kind," NiB said like someone who always received the virgin kind by accident.

"Three guesses that Boq _doesn't_ have a strong stomach." FiE muttered.

BiA pouted. "Just because _some_ of us are shorter—"

"Alright, can I get you guys anything else?" Bryan asked impatiently. "This evening has shown me that I need to either get rich, get another job or get a life. So I need to get a head start and get the _freakin' drink orders!!_"

"Okay, okay, dude, chill." AiG flipped his hair again. Truth be told, he liked having long hair to flip. Not that he would ever tell anyone…who knows what rumors could start? But maybe when he got back in his body, he could grow his hair out. "So if you don't have shots, can I have some whiskey?"

"Sure, sure, whatevs." Bryan scribbled something on his hand. "Y'know, I have an idea. Maybe you guys should get something _non_alcoholic. I—and I believe I am speaking for the entire country—would really not like to be around this group when they're drunk. Just a thought."

"Here's another thought. Why don't you go back to the kitchen and get that life you were talking about." FiE snarled. He tried tossing his hair, but wasn't nearly as skillful as Avaric.

"Okay, now I think I would rather not go to a party with any of these girls, cute as they are. Oz, I think Id rather go with one of the guys."

FiE wished Eye Candy could have heard that.

EiN waited until Bryan was gone and dumped her water glass on FiE.

"Ack! What in Oz was that for?"

"You're supposed to flirt with him, you cabbage head!

"Cabbage head?" FiE repeated dumbly, barely aware of the ice water soaking his clothes.

"Oh, never mind! I can't believe you! You were doing so well!"

"Chillax, Elphie. I'm doing you a favor. He isn't as hot as me. Or Av. Sweet Oz, he's less hot than Boq!"

"_**WHAT?**_" all three girls yelled.

GiF looked like the cat who ate the canary who found out it wasn't a canary but one of her kittens. "Are you…serious?"

"Nah, I think he's jealous." EiN said breezily.

"But…Fiyero _knows_ about hotness!"

All three boys winked at each other.

"So do I." AiG said huffily.

"Well? Is Bryan hot or what?"

"He is even more hideous than Boq."

"And even poorer." FiE snickered.

GiF sighed. "I might as well start liking Boq."

"YES!"

"NO!"

"Biq, Nessie, I was kidding!"

"Crap." BiA mumbled.

AiG looked at him sympathetically. "Dude, you have Nessa."

"That's right." NiB said reproachfully.

"Sorry, Nessa."

"Forgiven."

FiE interrupted. "Um, does anyone else feel sick?"

"Kinda, why?" AiG asked.

"Well, I do. Like when I drink too much…"

EiN smirked. "I TOLD you I can't have two beers in one night!"

"Don't rub it in!" FiE moaned, clutching his stomach.

"I feel sick too." AiG complained. "Like if I eat too much…"

"And **I** told you!" GiF crowed triumphantly. "My stomach is a lot smaller than yours, Av. Told you, told you, told you!"

"Glinda, we aren't three, as Bryan reminded you." NiB said.

EiN and GiF exchanged a high-five. "We so got you guys back for the flirting thing."

"Uhng, just shut up already." FiE whimpered. "Can we go home?"

"Maybe we better." BiA said slowly.

"Why? I like this restaurant!" GiF cried.

"As Bryan said, I don't want to be within ten miles of this group when we're drunk." BiA announced.

"Trueness." EiN shrugged. She wheeled away from the table. "And maybe it wasn't a good idea to let Fiyero get drunk. What if he…" her face paled. "…hooks up with some girl?"

"Ooh, you're right!" GiF squealed. "Let's go _now_!"

They all got up as fast as they could, spilling over a few drinks in the process.

"Oh, wait." BiA paused, almost getting knocked over. If he hadn't been in the taller boy's body, he would have fallen straight into the Shirley Temple. "Do we leave a tip?"

"NO," NiB insisted firmly, picking a soggy cream-coated potato off her shirt.

"Maybe not," agreed BiA with a glance at GiF who was gazing at Bryan as he wiped a table. "Maybe." he suddenly remembered Bryan's financial plight.

"Sure, I don't care." AiG ran a hand through his hair.

"Agreed," cooed GiF, still watching Bryan. "We totally should."

"Whatever," grumbled FiE, still cranky from the eye-candy incident, and the son of a bunny incident, and the Flirtini incident, and…

"We are leaving a tip," said EiN dreamily, also watching Bryan.

"Majority." ruled BiA.

"Bill, please!" GiF squealed, waving at Bryan and batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.

FiE watched Eye Candy snort into his goulash with a pained look on his green face.

"Leaving so soon?" Eye Candy called over to them.

"Keep your fat head where it belongs," threatened FiE menacingly.

"Oooh, Greenie's mad," observed Eye Candy.

EiN wheeled over and attempted to calm down the agitated FiE by massaging his shoulders. She stopped almost immediately, having realized she didn't like being her own masseuse.

Bryan appeared at their table. "Done already?" he said nervously, fidgeting with his order-pad.

"Glinda and Elphie found their stomachs weren't quite as bottomless as usual," EiN told him with raised eyebrows.

"Oh?" Bryan said uneasily. "Not because of, um, issues you've had with, uh, the service? Because the manager's policy is three strikes you're out, and—"

"Lemme guess. You already have two." predicted BiA dryly.

"How'd you guess?" nervous-laughed Bryan. "Well, yeah. And I really need this job, and if you tell the boss I'll get fired, so like I said, how bout we keep this just between us friends?"

EiN wondered vaguely how many customers he had given this pity-speech to.

"Of course!" said GiF and EiN at the same time. NiB was still fuming about the "craps" and the veggie-bisque-in-the-lap.

"Thanks, guys." Bryan said, relieved. "You're the best."

Instantly GiF and EiN kicked (or in EiN's case, threw a bread roll at) their respective guys under the table and sent telepathy messages somewhere along the lines of _Flirt as me or when I'm you I'll ruin your life_.

FiE, apparently having intercepted AiG's message, sent a telepa-message back to EiN: _You can't ruin it any worse than Glinda's already ruined it._

_Watch me_, EiN sent back.

FiE, fearing for his life, decided to oblige. "Um, sure, o-of course, Bryan, a-anything for-for y-you. H-h-h-hot-hottie." He was sweating profusely now.

Bryan turned to him. "Thanks, Greenie," he grinned.

Meanwhile GiF sent another telepa-message to AiG, accompanied by an even-harder kick. _Flirt and flip your hair. Do it better for me than Fiyero did for Elphie!_

AiG, of course, didn't receive the telepathy memo from GiF, but he flipped his hair anyway.

Another kick.

Avaric guessed the meaning pretty easily. "Oh crap." he took a deep breath for courage, strength, and Godspeed. "Y-y-yes, Bryan, um, uh, c-c-utie—" he coughed ferociously "—cutie. Oh, YEAH, I did said it without stuttering that time! Oh, crap, that's a bad sign not a good—" death stare from GiF "—…very…bad…sign…um, yeah, a-a-any-th-thing for y-you. B-bry-bryan. C-c-cutie." AiG stuttered, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, copying Fiyero.

"Oh, Av, lower marks than Fi in originality _and_ execution." EiN shook her head disappointedly.

"Um, again, Glinda, that would have meant a lot more if you hadn't seemed like your life was at stake," Bryan eyed AiG who was nearly hyperventilating.

"It was." muttered AiG, who had just received a threatening glare from GiF.

GiF fume-pouted.

"Well, um, here's the bill. The, um, the tipiscalculatedforpartiesofsixormore, andit'saddedtothetotal. Its,um,20. Have a good night and I'll be back shortly to collect your payment. So, um, yeah. Bye." Bryan quickly ditched the little black bill-book and rushed off.

"Can you believe he had the nerve to ask for 20 after he begged us not to turn him in?" asked an amused AiG (over the nervous breakdown.)

"Yes." EiN said shortly, eyes widening upon seeing the total.

"We'll pay," GiF assured her.

"Thanks." EiN hugged her quickly. "I'll get the tip."

"Don't take my money!" NiB squawked, ever the stingy one.

"Fine! Actually, Fi, can you leave the tip when he's looking? My money's in the big pocket of my bag."

"Fine!"

"Av, get me my card, okay, it's in my purse, in the pink wallet."

AiG flipped his hair expertly and pulled out the credit card.

"Thanks."

"Okay, Fiyero, now! He's watching! Put out the tip!" EiN ordered.

FiE put the money on the table. Bryan grinned graciously and winked. FiE reddened—greenened, actually—and swiftly turned around.

Bryan came over, took the black book containing Glinda's platinum card, and grabbed the crumpled bills off the table. He flipped through them, counting…

"20! You are the BEST, Elphie!" he exclaimed, showing off his thoughtful name-knowledge.

FiE smiled—everyone loves a compliment, right?—and EiN thank you-winked at him.

Moments later Bryan was back again to return Glinda's credit card. He placed the black book on the table, and…swore.

NiB shot him a disapproving glance.

"Ah, crap!" Bryan exclaimed. The credit card pocket was empty.

"You lost my card!" GiF squeaked.

"Nope, you're mixing yourself up with her," Eye Candy snickered from the next table and pointed to AiG. "Not hard to do."

"I mean you lost Glinda's card!" GiF squeaked again, unfazed.

"No I didn't! No I didn't! Just, hang on like 2 seconds! I'll find it!" Bryan said frantically. "Please don't tell! Stay right there!"

Eye Candy was snickering loudly. "Shut up!" said AiG, whose new credit card was gone.

"Yeah!" backed up Bryan. "Be nice to Glinda!" he sucked up.

GiF melted.

"Okay, um, I'm gonna find it. Um, where could it have gone…" Bryan said, mostly to himself.

"Look in your ugly fanny pack thingy," suggested EiN.

"Good, okay." Bryan searched through the required-waiter-uniform-front-fanny-pack. "Um."

"Try under the table." BiA said.

"Okay." Bryan got down on hands and knees and looked. "Uh…"

"Aren't Av's shoes the greatest? I just love them! And Glinda's of course. But Av's are the best guy shoes, tied with Fi's, I mean, mine, actually. Eye Candy's are sexier though." rambled GiF.

Eye Candy choke-laughed. "Still not interested, buddy."

"Yes, very lovely shoes." Bryan agreed dryly. "You know, if you lose a credit card you have to cancel it immediately." he advised nervously.

"It is not lost! Look for it, you idiot!" BiA shouted.

"I'm looking! I'm looking!" Bryan withdrew his head from the table and started crawling around the floor, combing it with his eyes for a glint of shiny plastic.

"I'm gonna go check the machine in the back room. Maybe I left it in the swipey thing." he said hopefully, and disappeared through a door.

"In the name of the Unnamed God, let that flubbering idiot find the credit card," intoned NiB.

"It's not like it's my only card," eye-rolled GiF.

"Still, he shouldn't have lost it." frowned BiA.

"I'm back." said Bryan.

"You didn't find it, did you." said EiN flatly.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"It is a sin to lose, destroy, or ruin personal property," recited NiB.

Bryan pulled up a chair and flopped down wearily. "God knows I _am_ gonna get fired."

"Bryan, don't say that." GiF stroked his shoulder comfortingly.

Bryan made a face. "Dude, it's called personal space."

"Dude, it's called find the freakin card already." mimicked FiE.

"Fine." Bryan stood up. He twitched. He grabbed his pants. "I think I found the card!" he said as he made a dash for the men's room.

Followed by silence.

"What was that about?" FiE said.

More silence.

Bryan returned with an extremely embarrassed expression and the missing card in his hand.

"Um. Here." he said sheepishly, handing over the card.

"Where was it?" said GiF suspiciously.

"Ummmm. See, I had a couple drinks during my lunch break. So, uh, my motor skills are not exactly perfect at the moment—"

"We've noticed." NiB said coldly, dabbing cream-broth off her sleeve.

"Sorry about that. So I kinda had to jam the black book thingy in the front-fanny pack. Upside down, I guess. So, um, I'm thinking the card fell out. Into. My. Pants. They're loose, see?" He stuffed a fist into his waistband.

"Didn't need to. Did you at least wash the card?"

"Yup!" Bryan said proudly—he finally did something right!

"Okay. Give it." AiG snatched the wet credit card and securely placed it in his pink wallet.

"Keep in touch!" GiF squeaked. FiE silenced her, and they left. Eye Candy was right in front of them.

"Taxi!" everyone shouted.

Immediately a yellow cab swerved out of traffic and zoomed haphazardly toward the curb, at the same time a squirrel scampered onto the street.

"Look out!!" screamed GiF. The driver started, looked around—

"Nooooooo!"

The taxi driver slammed on the brakes frantically, wondering what had happened—but it was too late. Rubber wheel made contact with grey fur. A small squeak could be heard just before a tiny _thud._ The car came to an abrupt stop and the driver leaped out to see what had caused the screaming.

"Nooooo…" wailed GiF.

"What!" the driver shouted.

"The-the—s-s-squirrel—" sobbed GiF.

Taxi Driver turned around and saw the small furry lifeless body next to his vehicle. "Shame."

GiF burst into hysterics. "It's d-d-dead!"

EiN's lip wobbled. "What if it was a—a—a Squirrel!"

She started to cry as well.

By now BiA's eyes were welling up.

"Don't you dare," hissed AiG.

"Glind—I mean Fiyero, calm down." FiE glare-comforted, hugging the convulsing form. "Now."

"But it's so sad!" hiccupped GiF.

NiB started to cry softly. "It didn't deserve to die. I'm sure it was sinless. I hope it meets Lurlina on the way to heaven." she sniffed.

"What if it wasn't an it? What if it was an It!" sobbed EiN.

Although Glinda and Elphaba were crying hardest of all, it looked as if it were the complete opposite: FiE and AiG were totally tear-free.

"Oh look something else is dying!" FiE said.

"Where! What!" GiF looked around frantically, spraying them in tears.

"My social rep." replied FiE.

BiA sniffled and brushed his eyes, frenzied.

"Please don't make me look as bad as Fiyero, Boq," pleaded AiG.

"Hey. Watch it. Elphaba's body could beat the perky out of Glinda's body in about 2½ seconds."

AiG backed away.

Eye Candy happened to have been watching the whole thing. "Oh, look. Bunny-Son is upset!"

"Stalker!" AiG spat, pointing an accusing finger.

"I finished eating too, okay! God, you Shizians are…nuts."

"Nuts!" GiF wailed. "I bet the squirrel ate nuts!"

AiG snorted.

"It isn't a time for jokes." NiB said sternly.

GiF hiccup-squeaked. "Poor Squirrely."

"Freak! You named it?"

She howled loudly and squeakily, shattering several eardrums.

"Dude, calm down! It's a squirrel."

GiF glared. "How would you like it if I died? Squirrels are people too!"

Eye Candy snorted.

"She's right," sniffed EiN. "If it was a Squirrel, it was a person."

"Do you want the taxi or not?" said an irritated Taxi Driver.

"Not if it hit that poor squirrel! That is a sinned taxi now," said NiB, who was kneeling on the sidewalk, praying for the dead squirrel.

"I'll take it," offered Eye Candy. He got in the cab and they drove away, running over the squirrel again, flattening it a little bit more.

GiF burst into a fresh round of tears.

The group, upon GiF's insistence, walked to a different spot where they couldn't see the squished squirrel and hailed a different taxi.

This time, no squirrels were run over, but the cab _did_ come dangerously close to AiG pointy heel.

"Hey! Dude, watch it—"

"Wha' was that dearie?" a woman, about as old as all of Shiz put together, croaked.

"Um, nothing—"

"Speak up, speak up, I can' 'ere you!"

"Oh, great." FiE grumbled to EiN. "So first we get the foreign freak, then we get the murderer of rodents and consequently reputations, and now we get deaf women who looks like she should have died last year."

"What did you expect with our luck? Some beautiful Vinkus Princess? Fiyero, at some point you have to admit that we have really bad luck."

"No, I agree, but all I have to say is that when the Unnamed God dealt out the cards for life, he obviously didn't shuffle very well."

EiN hoisted herself out of the wheelchair and into the taxi, impressed. "You know, you just used a metaphor."

"A what-y-for?"

She shook her head. "Never mind, I should have left it alone. It was a thing of great beauty, especially since you were in my body."

"Whatever." he said indistinguishably.

"And that is called pressing my luck." EiN sighed. "Hey, Boq, wanna put the wheelchair in the trunk?"

"Not particularly."

"You're in the biggest body, someone has to do it."

"What…oh yeah. Crap." BiA hoisted the chair up into his arms, flung open the trunk and shoved it in. He followed everyone else into the taxi and addressed the driver. "Um, we need to go to Shiz."

"Eh? What was that sonny?"

"SHIZ!" NiB practically shouted.

"Alright, alright, no need to yell." The driver held the key in her wrinkled hand and shoved in roughly into the ignition.

The car didn't start up.

"Um, I think the key is upside down." FiE said helpfully, while rolling his eyes at BiA.

"Eh?"

"The key is UPSIDE DOWN!" he repeated loudly.

"Alright! No need to get your trousers in a know, dearie. I know what I'm doing. I have a license."

"From when, 1800?" AiG said softly so only the rest of the group could hear.

"I heard that, missy!" the old women screeched, her voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard. _Glinda's_ nails on a chalkboard.

"Okay, sorry!" he apologized hastily.

She ignored him and was about to shove the key in the ignition again when she dropped it.

"Oh, great." BiA whispered as their driver bent down with a creaking of bones.

"Hm, where is it…"

"Oh, sweet Oz, don't tell us you—"

"Keep those trousers unknotted, sonny! I have it!" She sat up, triumphantly holding the key.

Three times must have been a charm, since the crone managed to start the car up this time. Everyone cheered.

"Alright! It wasn' that hard! By the way, my name is Mildred. You probably know my granddaughter, she's at Shiz."

"Oh, who is it?" GiF asked, wondering if it was one of her friends.

"Madame Morrible, of course!" Mildred cried, like it should have been obvious.

All six passengers choked.

"_Madame Morrible_? Are you sure?" EiN said suspiciously.

"I know my own grandkiddies, missy!"

"But…she's…old…" FiE said, unable to think of anything more intelligent.

"Are you implying something?" Mildred snapped.

"Yes—ah, no, no, I'm not." he stuttered.

"Good." The driver then became silent. She drove down the road, looking at the passengers expectantly in the review mirror. After a moment, she asked, "Well?"

"Well what?" GiF said, confuzzled.

"Well, introduce yourselves!"

They paused, remembering to introduce themselves as the body, not the mind. It was slow going and took three kicks to get FiE to introduce himself right.

Mildred froze and then slowly turned around. "Wait…are you the six students who—"

"Who what?" EiN said eagerly.

"Who…never mind, forget I said anything." Mildred looked visibly shaken. "That…explains it all."

"Who had that drinking contest last weekend? Yep, I was there." FiE said proudly. "Except this lot—" he gestured to the group, "—wasn't. Except Av was, too, actually. I think. Wait, were you?"

"Loser! I drank more than you did!" AiG burst out. "So you just conveniently **forget** I attended? Real smooth, Tiggular."

"Ewwww, people call you that?" GiF wrinkled her nose. "That's one of the stupidest names I've ever heard, and I have the displeasure of knowing Biq!"

"Boq!" the munchkin yowled for the millionth time.

"Even stupider!"

"I can't believe you _forgot_ that I beat you!" AiG repeated furiously.

"Well…well…I can't believe you _forgot _that I bribed you to not tell anyone!" FiE retorted, his face flaming.

"Oh come on, it's not like we all didn't already know!" AiG sneered. "Save the crown for the throne, Winkie Boy."

"Guys!" EiN interrupted. "No! This is ridiculous!"

"Make Glinda get my name right!" BiA turned toward the peacekeeper in indignance.

"Make Biq and Fiyero change their names!" GiF whined loudly.

"Make everyone be quiet!" NiB moaned, covering her ears.

"I can't!" EiN cried, annoyed that they all had to turn to her.

"Make Fiyero admit that he lost!" AiG added.

"Make Avaric not tell anyone about it!" FiE begged.

"Okay, at this point, I would rather you guys just argue it out." EiN said, trying to get them to stop talking to her. What could _she_ do?

GiF and BiA turned towards each other and AiG and FiE did the same.

The bickering started up again and the two sisters exchanged a look.

NiB put a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "It's okay, Elphie. They look so cute, just like best friends having an argument."

"Adorable." she muttered sarcastically.

Mildred's eyes met theirs in the mirror. "I can go fast, if you like."

"Yes, thank you." she replied gratefully as the driver sped up. At leas she wasn't a very slow driver speeding up to a normal persons pace.

It was only ten minutes, but it felt like a lifetime before they got back at Shiz. GiF paid Mildred, who charged even more the Morning Boulder and then the group slid out, into wheelchairs (well, EN did) and back to their dorms.

"Hang on." FiE said quickly. "Do we go to out body's dorm? Or our minds?"

"Body, I think." BiA answered. "I mean, do you have any idea who dead we'd be if Morrible caught Nessa and Avaric in the same room?"

"Ew!" AiG squealed, flipping his hair.

"Come on, let's just go." EiN said wisely and they split up to go to bed, all in for a very, _very_ rough night.

**AN: Sorry again for the delay…really! Please R&R, I LOVE reviews. And I want to make one more dedication: anonymous colormebeautifulforachange did a great review, the best yet. So I have decided to let you guys review and the best reviewer gets a character names after them! Cool, huh? And, btw, I need ideas. So just review with an idea and I may just use it! Thanks!**


	5. Beautiful Souls and Ringtones

**ShoutOuts: gilgrissomlover gave me so ideas. Which I used! She was kind enough to favorite and Alert this, so thank you. Your review made my day :). And Caleb Jones who also reviewed, seems to write stories just like this. GMTA, huh? LOfreakingL. **

**AN: Hey and I am so freaking sorry for the wait. I didn't get any reviews until last week, and then I was soooooo busy. But here it is, JMac refs and all! Please R&R! And don't 4get my poll! You'll love it! At least, I do.**

**Disclaimer: If I could be Winnie or Greg, I would be happy to kiss them and own Wicked. But neither of them is the sexual orientation to really like kissing me! Plus they're Oz-knows-how-much older. But I still wouldn't mind kissing Norbert Leo Butz who is 41.**

They hadn't gone far when BiA called, "Hang on!"

Everyone turned around and looked at him.

"Um, do you think we should sleep in our clothes?"

"Why?" NiB asked sharply.

"Well…some people…might want to…check out…the body they're in. And…I…don't think that's a good idea."

"Hypocrite." AiG snorted. "You were so excited to shower in Glinda's body this morning."

"Well…well…" BiA stuttered, caught. "I'm not an acceptable body to look at now in case you haven't noticed!"

"Yes, but I am." GiF purred. It was obvious in her expression that she thought Boq was in the perfect body to check out.

"And me!" FiE winked.

"And me!" AiG echoed.

NiB was silent, but the twitching of her lips, then eyebrows, then nose gave it away.

"And Nessa!" GiF said on her behalf.

"And not me." EiN rolled her eyes. Why couldn't she be stuck in Bryan's body?

"Majority rules!" FiE announced, repeating something he had heard back home in court after his first expulsion.

EiN and BiA exchanged horror-filled glances. "That isn't fair, guys!"

"Well, we have to get dressed in the morning." AiG said reasonably.

"Did Avaric just say something smart?" EiN asked, stunned.

"Yes—I mean no! No!!" AiG squeaked, determined to stay as brainless as Fiyero. Reputations were reputations.

"Good, I thought I was hallucinating."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "So we might as well change now and…stuff."

"You just can't wait to look at my—well, your—body." GiF told him, sounding like someone who had actually just figured that out.

Because she was.

"So what if I can't?" AiG snapped with a flick of his blond tresses.

"No, no, it's totally cool." GiF said happily. "Really, go ahead. I don't mind in the least."

EiN rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm cool with changing since I'm in my sister's body, but Fiyero is not allowed to look at my body. AT ALL."

"I can do whatever I want." FiE told her smugly. "It's my body for the time being."

She turned to AiG in genuine desperation. Genuine desperation was the only thing that would force her to ask the stuck-up jerk for a favor.

"Avaric, please, _please_; don't let him look at my body."

"Oh, so _now_ the veggie likes me." AiG rolled his heavily made up eyes.

"_Please_!"

"Maybe."

"Pretty please with perverted magazines on top?"

AiG crossed his arms. "No."

"You just said maybe!" EiN wailed.

"I changed my mind."

"Jerk."

"Thank you, it's my specialty." AiG said smoothly. "Now, can we go to bed? Because my stomach is abso-freaking-lutely killing me."

"If nobody opposes Avaric's proposal, without further ado, let us depart for our dwellings." BiA said, receiving three confused looks from AiG, FiE and GiF. And an adoring look from NiB.

"He means that if everyone agrees, we can go back to our dorms." EiN translated.

"Oh" GiF nodded, like she finally got it. "Why didn't he say that in the first place?"

"Because he's a freak." AiG scoffed good-naturedly, smacking his buddy playfully. The blow would have knocked the Munchkin off his feet if they had been on their own bodies and AiG was slightly disappointed when it didn't.

_Curse Glinda's lack of muscles!_

The group parted ways with promises to oztext each other first thing the next morning. FiE and AiG headed off to the girls room, EiN looked for Madame Morrible's room and GiF, BiA and NiB went off to the suite the three guys shared.

It was not a good night.

"Miss Nessarose!" Madame Morrible cried. "Where were you?"

"At dinner, with Elphaba and her friends." EiN replied nervously. She wasn't sure what was scarier—Madame Morrible in a dressing gown and curlers or Madame Morrible without all the makeup on. Neither of them were very pleasant sights.

"My dear, you are only a sophomore. It isn't…safe…for you to be out with those senior boys—do you know what would happen if they got drunk?"

EiN winced. No wonder her sister was so cranky.

"Elphaba would protect me, as always." Hey, why not put in a good word for herself?

"Well, yes. But still—I don't think it's safe for a child such as yourself to be out so late."

"I'm nineteen, Madame. I can take care of myself."

"No, my dear girl, you cannot!" Morrible said firmly. "You are in a wheelchair!"

"I'm not incompetent!" EiN snapped. "That's prejudice!"

"You are beginning to sound like your sister!"

_Oops._

Morrible sighed. "Miss Nessarose, why don't you get in bed now. I can talk to you in the morning."

"Fine." EiN wheeled into her sister's tiny room, crashing into the bed. _Oh Oz, the room isn't much bigger than the wheelchair._ She struggled out of the wheelchair, on to the bed and puzzled over how to get her nightgown on.

The light turned off in the room next door and, within a minute, loud, loud snores had started up. Used to Glinda's soft, squeaky breathing, EiN emitted a whimper. This was going to be a long night.

In the girl's room, FiE and AiG weren't having any better of a time.

Upon seeing the beds, FiE cheered. "Ha! Loser! You get to sleep in the pink bed!"

AiG paled. "What?!"

"You're Glinda! You hafta sleep in the pink bed! You hafta sleep in the pink bed!" FiE taunted, skipping around the room in a very un-Elphaba like way.

"I hate you." AiG pouted in a very Glinda like way.

"Pink bed! Pink bed! Pink bed!"

"Shut up, you freak."

FiE continued bouncing around the room, cackling. "Can I call you Pinky?"

"Why?"

"After the pink bed, _Pinky_."

"Whatever you want, _Bunny_."

FiE gasped. "You, my friend, did not just go there."

"Sure I didn't, _Mr. Bunny_." AiG smirked.

"Okay, Av, I'm sorry I called you Pinky. Let's forgive and forget…and never call me a bunny again."

"No."

"Come on…you know you want to…"

"Don't talk to me like I'm Glinda or Elphaba because that isn't going to work."

"But you are…" FiE paused, confuzzlated. Wasn't this Glinda he was talking to?

Realization dawned on him like calling the short, round Oznuts 'Munchkins' dawned on the owners of Dunkin' Oznuts.

"Glinda, we need to have a talk."

"But I'm Avaric."

"No, you are Glinda." FiE said decidedly, dusting his hands off.

"You called me Av thirty seconds ago."

"Glin, I don't think you're feeling well. First, you ruin my reputation and then you object to the name Pinky. We're going to the nurse."

"But I'm Avaric!"

"Avaric is a _boy_, Glinda. Look down your shirt. You're a girl."

"But, Fiyero." AiG began confusedly. "I switched places with her, remember? It's me. Your best friend?"

"Aha!" FiE pointed a long green finger at him. "Another sign you aren't well. You are insisting you're Avaric. Sweetheart, you're going crazy."

"I am not! I _am_ Avaric!"

"Look in the mirror."

"I don't need to, Fiyero. I _know_ I am Avaric in my heart and nothing you can say will change who I am."

FiE pursed his lips, shaking his head. "And now you are quoting those infomercials about peer pressure. That is the most unhealthy sign of all."

AiG rolled his eyes. "This is pathetic, Fiyero."

"And you didn't call me Fifi, which is just…weird. Or Fiyero, or whatever you like to call me." FiE added. He pulled an OzPilot from his pocket and started recording the symptoms. AiG stared.

"Fiyero, you don't have an OzPilot."

"Yes, I—wait a second!" The Winkie prince glared at the small silver device in his hand. "I don't, do I?"

His friend sighed in relief. They were finally back on the right track. "No, you don't. Now, come on. You need to look in the mirror."

"Why?"

"You'll see in a minute."

"Tell me why now!" FiE insisted, not unlike a toddler.

AiG twirled a lock of blond hair on his finger while he thought. "Because, uh…because you're breaking out…"

"I…WHAT!?"

"Just _look_ already!"

"But…I don't want to. Is it bad? I don't have acne, I promise."

"Of course you don't."

"Then why I am I breaking out?"

AiG sighed in frustration. "Okay, fine, your skin is totally clear."

"I told you so."

"Fiyero, just look in the mirror for me, please."

"Why?"

Another sigh. In his heart, AiG knew how he could convince his friend to glance in Glinda's full-length mirror. He just didn't want to.

But he did.

"You're looking very…" _Gulp_. "…sexy right now. And you're probably going to want to see."

AiG had done a lot of scary things in his life. He considered himself to be a pretty brave guy; during games of truth of dare, he never backed out. But even walking through the girls dorm, wearing only Glinda's favorite lace thong (Elphaba's idea, naturally) was better then telling his best friend that he was sexy.

It was even worse to tell his best friend he was sexy when, for the moment, at least, his voice was extremely high and squeaky.

_There goes every ounce of my confidence in my manhood._

FiE finally grinned. "Maybe you are feeling all right." He proceeded to move in front of the mirror…and screamed.

"I'M GREEN!"

"Yes."

He flapped his arms like a Penguin trying to take flight. "But…but…I'm green."

"Uh huh."

"I'm flippin' green, Glinda! Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Um, Fiyero, maybe you should look closer."

FiE whimpered, then stared at his reflection again.

"Do you see what else is wrong?" AiG said patiently.

"My eyes are blue, not hazel."

"And…"

"I have more muscle tone?"

"Try again."

"My hair isn't black?"

"Nope."

"I have better taste in clothes?"

"_No_, Fiyero." AiG caught himself. "Well, yes, you do. But guess again."

Pause.

"Oh, I know!"

Pause.

"No, I don't."

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Scream.

"I'm a girl!"

AiG breathed a sigh of relief again. "Yes!"

"But why am I a girl?"

Though it killed him, AiG explained the whole deal again. It wasn't fair! Fiyero was so naturally stupid, but he, Avaric, had to try a little.

FiE rested his chin in his hands. "Wow. It's all coming back."

"Good."

"But wait a second."

"Yeah?"

"Who are you again?"

* * *

BiA was feeling anxious. For one night, at least, he and his crush would be in the same dorm. True, they would both be on the bodies of males…but that situation has happened before (Crope and Tibett!). Just not in a boy**\**girl way.

And yes, they were both in the bodies of males that his crush liked better than him. But that meant that Glinda _would_ like him better if he was better looking, right?

Although there was that matter of Nessa.

Who temporarily didn't matter, since she was in the suite's facilities.

GiF sidled up to him.

He nearly fainted.

She was giving him _that look_.

"Hey, Sexy." she purred, wrapping a toned arm around his waist.

"Um, hey, beautiful." BiA mumbled, unsure what to do. Did she know that he was actually Boq?

Did she know that she was in Fiyero's body?

This was creepy.

GiF pulled him into her and he revised his thought.

This was _really_ creepy.

She kissed him, slowly at first, then more passionately. Her arms were wrapped around his neck.

This was really _really _creepy.

BiA didn't know what to do.

On one hand, he was kissing Glinda.

On the other hand, he was kissing Fiyero.

BiA felt a continued head-rush of excitement about the Glinda part...and, okay, the Fiyero part was kind of freaking him out—but hey, appearance is only part of a person. The insides are a lot more important, right? Boq forced himself to imagine Glinda's petite _feminine_ body in place of the muscular male body pressed against him, which was rapidly switching back and forth between two slightly different sizes—

Wait a second. Something wasn't ri—

"What in the name of Oz are you doing!" NiB screamed, having returned from the more-private bathroom on the main floor.

GiF broke away slowly. "Nessa, I'm allowed to kiss Avaric if I want—hey, I thought—wait—you're Fiyero! What—I was kissing Avaric! Now I'm kissing Fiyero! What the—"

"Glinda, look down," cut in BiF.

GiA squeaked shrilly. "I'm…Avaric?"

"Remember the whole kiss someone and switch places thing?" prompted BiF. GiA nodded slowly. "Mm-hm. Well, you were in Fiyero's body and I—oh, yeah, I'm Boq, by the way—I was in Avaric's body, and we kissed. We switched many times, and now we're in the bodies we're in, I guess."

"So, like, Avaric and Fiyero just made out?" said a horrified GiA.

BiF nodded.

"You can't tell them!" GiA said earnestly. "Promise!" she held out her pinky.

BiF looked at it blankly.

"Pinky promise." insisted GiA. "You know, lock pinkies and shake, it's a really strong promise, it means a lot, okay? If you break a pinky promise, I get to break your pinky. Oz, I can't believe you don't know what a pinky promise is." She shook her head like a disappointed parent.

"Alright." They shook pinkies. "And I won't tell them about the pinky promise thing, either."

"Thanks."

"Have you forgotten about me?" NiB interrupted sourly. "I'm right here, you know."

"Oh. Yeah. Um?" said BiF awkwardly.

"Boq, why did you kiss Glinda? Sometimes I feel like Glinda's more important than me."

"Yeah, I'm getting that feeling too." agreed GiA.

NiB glared. "And agreeing to kiss Glinda when she is in a boy's body? Kissing a boy, Boq? That worries me even more."

"Oh, Nessa, give it a rest. It was Glinda's idea, anyway. She forgot she was Fiyero, and she thought I was really Avaric…"

"Way to throw me under the bus," GiA complained, even though she barely knew what a public bus was, let alone the expression.

"Sorry, Glinda," immediately apologized the offender.

"It's okay, Biqy."

"Why don't we all just go to bed," suggested a weary NiB, practically collapsing onto the bed as soon as they entered the suite. She had gotten more leg exercise today than her whole life before. Even though she was in Boq's body, she wasn't used to the exercise.

"You better change, Nessa."

A slow mischievous grin spread across her face as she glanced down at herself, her crushes body, briefly displaying the not-so-nun side of herself.

* * *

GiA wiped the sleep from her eyes and sat up—

She swore loudly.

She rubbed the top of her head gingerly, inspecting the damage. A lump was already beginning to form.

GiA sat up again, this time avoiding the faucet.

Last night, NiB had stalked her crush/temporary roommate around the dorm. As if that wasn't creepy enough, BiF had stalked GiA. So last night she had had two lovesick people following her around. She felt like the mother duck with two annoying duckling trailing her. Except the last duckling was only following her because she was following the first duckling, who was following mommy duck. If that made any sense at all.

Which it didn't.

So, GiA had locked herself in the bathroom for some privacy time. She had bravely roughed it with nothing but a single blanket and pillow, sleeping in the bathtub.

And the pillow wasn't even silk!

It was cotton!

And now her hair would be all messed up!

Curse Avaric…oh yeah, she _was_ Avaric and _his _hair looked really _hot_ messed up.

Life was good.

Except not really, cuz today they were moving to the penthouse, and AiG was responsible for packing her stuff, and even though she would oztext him to pack everything she owned, he would probably mess it all up and not use the snakeskin suitcases for boots, and fold her dresses, or even worse not fold them and stuff them in, and everything would be ruined, and FiE was mad at her for the son of a bunny thing, and the dead squirrel thing, even though she said she was sorry, and NiB would probably tell about the Fiyero making out with Avaric incident since she had forgotten to pinky swear with her, and then AiG and FiE would get really mad, and somehow everyone would find out, and then everyone would think she made out with gay guys, and her reputation would be ruined, not that AiG hadn't already flushed it down the toilet with his portrayal as her, and her freaking stalkers were probably still outside the door waiting for her to come out.

Life was _not_ good.

* * *

EiN's Ozphone rang loudly to her favorite song, "I Stand" at precisely 7 AM.

_Cuz I stand for the power to change_

_I live for the perfect—_

"Hello?"

"Elphie?"

Upon hearing Avaric's voice, she made a face. "What do you want—wait a sec. You're Boq, aren't you?"

"Um, no. A little mix-up happened and…well, I'm actually Glinda."

EiN could guess what happened. "Okay, Glin, what's up?"

"I need help." GiA paused, then launched into a whisper-shouted rant. "That isn't fair that I have to room with Nessie and Biq! Biq stalks me and Nessie stalks him! Wherever I go, it's like I have two shadows! And I need you to come save me."

"Glinda." EiN was amused. "It's _flattering_ to have a stalker. Nessa would kill to have Boq stalk her."

Silence.

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Elphie." GiA whimpered, sounding like her real self. "I slept in the bathroom."

"Oh, Glinda." EiN was overcome with sympathy for her best friend. Only desperation would cause the blond to sleep in the same room as a toilet.

A _guy's_ toilet nonetheless.

She was filled with a sudden newfound respect for Glinda.

"Okay, I'm coming. I'll just bring the others and we can get ready to go to the penthouse."

"Okay." GiA sniffed, then hiccup-squeaked.

_(A note from jGirl: I do that too! It sounds really weird! One of my bffs says that I sound like a dying chipmunk)_

EiN said goodbye, hung up and swung herself out of bed.

"Ouch!"

She was Nessa.

Nessa couldn't swing herself out of bed.

EiN pulled herself up on to the wheelchair. Somehow, she had managed to wriggle into Nessa's nightgown, but getting dressed _again_ would be another story.

Hating herself for being so incompetent, she knocked on Morrible's door.

The college president opened it, her hair still in curlers.

"Miss Nessarose, what a pleasure. What is it?"

"Um, I was just having some difficulty getting dressed and…"

"Say no more, Miss Nessarose. I've done this for you every day for more than a year and I will happily do it again."

_Ouch!_ Nessa was this incompetent? As Morrible helped undress her, EiN debated whether to tell the others. Glinda would love the gossip.

And it would give Fiyero and Avaric teasing rights.

And give Nessa an excuse to run her over with that cursed wheelchair.

"There you are, dear. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I don't think so. I'll just be on my way." EiN smile-thanked her and wheeled in the direction of her 3real room, where FiE and AiG were undoubtedly sleeping off hangovers.

She was right. Elphaba's artichoke shaped alarm clock started buzzing at seven AM exactly. FiE had thrown a pillow in the general direction, shattering it. But, alas, he was already up.

AiG woke up too when his Ozphone rang to "The Best Damn Thing", his guilty pleasure.

_You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal_

_Me, I'm a scene—_

"Oh my Oz, Av, pick that up or I will strangle you. I _hate_ that song!"

AiG picked it up and checked Caller ID. "It's Glinda with a text."

"Girl song."

He ignored the Winkie Prince and read the message.

**Glinda:** _hey av, everythings peachy, xcept now i'm in ur bod. don't ask. u dnt wnt 2 kno. anyway, 2day u can wear what u wnt, so long as u rnt mad me 4 kissing ur bod as F and B kissing bck as u. & u cnt tell F about tht all or I will h8 u 4ever. o, btw just use ur best judgment 4 shoes & accessories, ok? i kno u hv good taste (:luv u, glin_

AiG's stomach sunk. Boq! How could he! It was bad enough that Glinda ruined Fiyero's reputation, she was cute and easily forgivable. However, there was nothing sexy about Boq. So the Munchkin was in big trouble.

Big, big trouble.

He rolled out of bed and slouched over to the closet. Wow. There were a lot of selections. And they were all extremely feminine. He was in the process of eeny-meeny-miney-moing her—his!—wardrobe when a very…unpleasantly familiar sound came from somewhere around FiE.

_I don't want another pretty face_

_I don't want just anyone to hold_

_I don't want my love to go to waste_

_I want you and your beautiful soul_

"HA!" AiG screeched, pointing an accusatory finger in his buddy's direction. "GIRL SONG!"

FiE swore in a very un-Elphie like way. "Hey! Where is that...rrr…stupid phone?"

"And you say I listen to girl songs!"

"Well…well…this is only my ringtone when Elphie calls." FiE stuttered, throwing aside blankets angrily. "You know, I like her, but she's more beautiful soul than pretty face…"

"Oh my Oz, wait until Eye Candy hears your ringtone." AiG grinned wickedly. "Or even worse…Glinda's."

He squawked like a bird whose feathers had all been pulled out at once while trampling around the room, looking for the phone.

The phone whose ringtone was about to be changed.

_I want to be what you always needed_

_Then I hope you'll see the heart in me…_

_I don't want—_

"Found it!" FiE cried triumphantly, pulling it out of his pajama bottoms. The sweet, but powerful voice came to a halt as he answered, "Yo, Elphie?"

"Hi, Fiyero. You sound stressed."

"I am, but please continue. Don't let my problems ruin your perfectly lovely day."

"Well, get dressed, okay? We're meeting in your suite. Your real one."

"Okay. Elphie?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you have to be so beautiful?"

"Yero, I'm not—"

"On the INSIDE!"

"Huh?"

"Your beautiful soul!"

"I don't _have_ a soul, Fiyero. No one does."

"Freak."

"Yeah, cuz I haven't heard that one."

"Really? Didn't I—"

"Goodbye, random weirdo."

"Goodbye, beautiful soul that I hate."

* * *

Ten minutes later, all six of them were in the boy's room. GiA was fussing over AiG's makeup and outfit and everyone else was discussing the problem of packing and kissing.

NiB gazed lovingly at her own body. "Let's just pack for our bodies."

"Let's _not_." BiF shuddered. The things in his underwear drawer were not to be seen by anyone. Especially Nessa. And especially Glinda.

Before NiB could flirtily object, EiN snapped her fingers. "Hang on! Who isn't with us right now?"

"Glinda and Avaric." NiB answered.

"Minds or bodies?" BiF wondered.

Pause.

"Hey!" FiE cried. "Both of them! They're in each other's bodies!"

"He's right." EiN grinned. "Let's have them kiss and see if they switch back!"

"And if they don't?"

"Then they will have each other's brains. And neither of them has many, so it works!" EiN puffed out her chest with pride at the good idea and called. "Avaric! Glinda! We have an idea."

"Yeah, what? If it involves flirting with guys—"

"No! Kiss each other! And see if you switch back!"

AiG and GiA exchanged a disgusted glance.

"But Elphie, I don't want to kiss my own body."

"Ew." AiG winced. "Would that make me gay?"

"No." BiA snickered. "It would make you Fiyero."

FiE glared at EiN and GiA. "Let's just forget that happened."

"'To speak without thinking is to shop without buying.'" GiA declared.

"I think you mean that it's to shoot without aiming." EiN corrected politely.

"Ew, Elphie, I hate guns! Let's talk about something else!"

"Okay, then you and Avaric just kiss. It isn't so bad!"

"Yeah, I dare you to kiss Fiyero."

"No!"

"That's just cuz she doesn't like kissing." AiG burned.

"Are you going to kiss or dis?"

"Suck it up and pucker up."

"Oh, you wanna play that game? Cuz I can rhyme way better than you can!"

"Just _kiss_ Glinda and Avaric or I'll tell Fiyero about you-know-what." NiB smirked.

"You wouldn't, Nessa!" GiA gasped.

"I might."

"Well…well…be mean to Elphie!"

"Why?"

"If it wasn't for her and Fiyero, none of this freaking kissing curse would have happened!" GiA snapped, tossing her hair. That didn't toss right.

"You're the one who kisses all of the guys! So it's really your fault! You kiss, like, ten times as much as I do!"

"Yeah, well…well…" GiA stammered, unable to retort. "I can't help that I'm pretty—"

NiB and FiE smashed both the blondes together and forced their lips on each other.

After a moment, they let them pull apart.

"Okay, who's who?" EiN asked, with a grateful glance to her sister and the Winkie Prince.

"Not telling." The Avaric body said.

"Me neither." Glinda body seconded.

"Great." BiA groaned. "Nice move, guys."

"Nope, I have it under control." EiN replied. "Okay, what do you guys think of Fiyero?"

"Sexy!" The Avaric body squealed.

"Um, anything but that."

The other four let out a collective sigh. They were right back where they started. Except Glinda and Avaric were mad at them.

**AN: Okay, I'm sorry again. But hey, hope ya like it and don't mind the JMac ref. I couldn't resist! So R&R if you want to see the next chapter sooner, and tell me **_**what**_** you like. If you like Bryan or Eye Candy, say so! If you like a certain line, tell me and I'll make more like it! Okay, glad you read and DO NOT forget to review! And give me some ideas or situations you want ot see them in! Thanks!**


	6. Fiyeraba vs Glinaric

**AN: So, here is chappie six. I'm glad people like this story, it's my fave that I wrote (:. As I said in Chapter One, two and probably some others, NO ONE is going out! Please remember that! They're just flirty friends! Trust me, if Fiyero and Glinda **_**were**_** going out, he wouldn't tolerate her crush on Bryan. Or on Eye Candy. Hey, what do you think of them, btw? They're my favorites, personally (:. And…duh-duh-duh…new hot OC coming up! Yay! R&R! And gilgrissomlover, Casey will show very soon…pinky-promise! Oh, and one more thing about the curse…you can only switch back into your original body on accident. R&R...let's get this story up to 100 reviews! **

AiG flipped his hair. "I hate you guys, you know that, right?"

"Sorry." BiF circled an arm around his friend's shoulders. "We just wanted to see if you guys would switch back."

"Dude, I'm not Glinda."

"Oh. Right."

"Do you want to go pack for our penthouse?" EiN distracted them before BiA could be too embarrassed.

"And we don't like _you_ any better!" GiA burst out. "You and Fiyero got this whole curse started!"

"Glinda, it could have started with you and Avaric." FiE reminded her.

"But it didn't." AiG backed the blonde up. "So you and Greenie are responsible for the stupid mess we're in!"

NiB and BiF looked at each other and shrugged.

EiN glanced at her sister. "It's _your _fault, Glinda and Avaric. And Nessa agrees with me of course."

"Huh? I do?"

"_Yes_."

"Okay, sure. I agree."

"Well…well…Biq agrees with me!" GiA shot back, pulling him over next to her.

"On no account did I partake in this quarrel or give any indication that I am going to select a side in this childish nonsense."

"Boq, you freak, don't _do_ that!" FiE snapped.

"Okay, now I _am_ taking sides." BiF glared at his once-friend.

"Fine!" EiN wheeled towards the door. "I'm leaving!"

"Never to come back again…" GiA sang.

"Where are you going to go, Elphaba?" AiG called, ignoring Glinda. "If I remember correctly, Nessa doesn't have too much of a social life!"

"I have Boq!" NiB defended herself.

"My point exactly."

BiF steamed.

EiN wheeled back. "I'm going to pack my stuff, because I don't trust Fiyero to get all my books, actually."

"And I need to pack too!" GiA said. "If Elphie will pack for herself, then I'm going to too!"

"Ooh, Glin's getting all fiery." AiG commented. "Hot. I like it. It's like Greenie only not green."

Everyone ignored him.

"How am _I_ going to pack?" NiB whined. "Morrible will kill Boq if she caught him in our room and if Boq dies…"

"Then I will have a peaceful and happy life!" GiA said brightly.

BiF pouted in an un-manly way. "You cry for squirrels and not me?"

"It's Squirrel, you jerk!" EiN yelled.

"Who the hell cares?" AiG yelled back in her face.

"You did not just go there."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"JERKHOLE!"

"Green!"

"Is that the best you can come up with?"

"Don't forget, he has Glinda's brain." FiE reminded her.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Dancing-through-life!"

"You guys! Let's focus on the problems we have and not make more!" NiB interjected. "Right now, we need to pack and leave, okay? Boq, as much as I love you, I hate you for not agreeing with me in this issue. Elphaba has been your friend since childhood and Fiyero is one of your best friends. And I'm practically going out with you!"

"Yessss…" AiG finger-gunned her. "However, I am also one of his best friends and come on. Everyone knows he likes Glinda. He can't ever defy her."

NiB's bottom lip trembled. "But…but…Boq…"

"Avaric!" EiN barked. "That's enough." She put an arm around her younger sister, who shrugged it off. It felt weird to be comforted by yourself.

AiG flicked his blond tresses. "Oops, didn't mean to say that."

BiF cowered under the glances from NiB, EiN and FiE. "Guys, sorry for not taking sides, but I think I need to, uh, go eat breakfast. I'll let you guys sort this out, okay?"

"Oh!" NiB exclaimed happily. "I'll come with you!"

"Um, you really don't have to—"

"I know! That's what makes me so nice!" NiB started skipping in the direction of the door.

"Nessa, if you skip, you aren't allowed to come."

"Sorry dearest, darlingest, Boqy."

"And you can't call me that either."

"Glinda calls you Biqy."

EiN sent AiG a look that said _say anything and you die_.

"Glinda is…" BiF glanced at his crush, biting his lip. "Glinda is a special case. You're too, um, mature." He would always hate himself for saying that.

A thrillified NiB smiled and followed him downstairs to the campus café.

While those two her off torturing and tantalizing each other, the remaining four were glaring at one another.

AiG spoke first in a low growl. "So are we going to settle this like men or like—"

FiE cleared his throat and looked down.

Confused, AiG glanced downward, saw his petite, feminine body and growled again.

"All right, correction. Are, um, the others going to settle this like men or are we going to talk it out?"

"What are we fighting about again?" GiA piped up.

"Who started the curse."

"Oh, okay." She flicked her short blonde hair and Avaric made a mental note to copy her technique on his own body. It looked good. Very good.

EiN cut in. "Look, I think we should just have a reasonable discussion, since some of us are in wheelchairs and all, okay?"

"Fine." AiG sniffed. "Can we punish whoever started this suckheaded curse with, like, Indian Burns?"

"No!" The girls chorused, and FiE shrugged.

"My very smart brain is telling me that we should discuss this first in a civilized manner and then get to the Indian Burns."

EiN golf-clapped with pride.

"Alright." She began importantly, channeling Nessa. "I just want to clear up that Glinda and Avaric have kissed a lot more than Fiyero and I have. I've only kissed him a few times. Glinda, on the other hand, is always kissing either Fiyero or Avaric. And…I would blame Fiyero and all, but he sides with me, so I'm not going to."

"Thanks, Elphie." FiE mumbled.

GiA rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, it was you and Fiyero who started the curse! I mean, nobody switched until you two kissed, right? Yeah! So it's your fault!"

AiG waved a hand in the air. "Hey, let's forget the discussion and get to the Indian Burns! How does that sound?"

"Freak." EiN sneered.

"You're the green one. And now you're in a wheelchair. You're the freak!"

"Discriminist!"

"Nerd!"

"Playboy!"

FiE and GiA glanced at each other and shrugged. Elphaba and Avaric always had their little feud going on…it wasn't anything new.

"Teacher's Pet!"

"Brainless!"

"Elphie, that's Fiyero." GiA cut in quietly.

"Loser!" AiG sneered, ignoring her.

"Violent!" EiN shot back.

FiE also cut in calmly. "Look, I know we're fighting, but maybe we can stop with the insults, okay?"

"Bunny!" AiG blurted, before he could help himself.

"Oh no, Av. I _told_ you not to go their! I told you! I told you!"

"Too late." GiA shrugged, giggling to herself. At least _someone_ appreciated her love of bunnies.

FiE turned on her. "You think that bunny hell was **funny**? That was the most un-funny thing you have ever done and you're unfunny to start with!"

"Huh?" The other three asked.

"Oh, never mind. But some fat-headed loser thinks I want to date him, Glinda! That's not cool!"

"But he's so cute, Fiyero. Come on, admit he's cute."

"NO!"

"Come on, just say it, Fifi." GiA begged gently.

"No! I'm a guy! I do not have to admit that any male is cute unless I am gay, which I assure I am not." FiE crossed bony green arms across his chest.

AiG was snickering. And EiN was glaring at her best friend.

"Oh, shi-talking mushrooms." GiA pouted. "I forgot."

AiG's perfectly-glossed mouth dropped. "You did _not_ just say 'shi-talking mushrooms'."

FiE cracked up. "Do you understand how I feel?" he managed between guffaws. "Glin, if you wanna say that—and please do, by the way. It's not fair you ruin my rep and not Av's—at least get it right. Shi-talking mushrooms? Mushrooms don't talk shit--"

"Alking mushrooms!" GiA insisted.

"No, Glinda." FiE sighed, enjoying being the smart one for once. "It is not shi-talking mushrooms."

"Oh." GiA looked surprised. "If it's not shi-talking mushrooms, what is it then?"

"_Shitoki_ mushrooms. It's a freakin ugly kind of mushroom that's supposed to taste good."

"Shitoki?" GiA said in an ohhhhhh sort of way. "Well hmph. I like shi-talking mushrooms better." she pouted.

FiE busted out laughing again. "Seriously, Avaric, whoever you are…"

"Here." AiG glared.

FiE turned to his friend. "Dude, you have to get how I felt last night with her as me. Doesn't it suck big time?"

"Yes…well…Eye Candy thinks I'm straight at least!"

The smirk was wiped off his friends face.

And returned.

"You just called him Eye Candy!"

"I did…!" AiG panicked. "Oh, shi—"

"—talkingmushrooms!" GiA finished loudly.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Shi-talkingmushrooms. That's how I feel now."

EiN interrupted the sarcasm. "So are we done fighting?"

"I don't know." FiE said thoughtfully. "It's kind of fun to make fun of Av and Glin, y'know?"

"Yes, Elphaba would know." AiG said pointedly.

"Clam it up like a shellfish!" EiN snapped. "YOU are always making fun of me! I have to give you a taste of your own poisonous medicine."

"Guys, guys!" GiA said, raising her voice. "Chillax!"

EiN and AiG both took a deep breath.

FiE rolled his eyes and suggested quietly, "Let's go pack and hate each other later, okay? We have to check in before noon at out penthouse."

"Wow, Fiyero is sounding smart." AiG mumbled.

"I have Elphie's brain!"

"Yes, he does, so let's all go pack and we can fight in peace." EiN backed him up.

"I'm packing my own stuff!" GiA cried, rushing for the door. "And nobody is allowed to touch it!"

She skipped outside and down the hall, causing AiG to make a noise that sounded like Goldfish digesting a Sea Urchin.

"Someone's a few pickles short of a sandwich." EiN muttered to FiE before leaving to pack for herself.

And thus, the two boys were left alone.

At first, they tried to ignore each other.

But when AiG found himself too short to reach the top shelf in his closet, he broke down.

"Hey, Fiyero, wanna give me a hand?" he called, forgetting the fight.

FiE walked over. "I can't." He jeered at his friend, clumsily flipping his hair. "I'm too much of a bunny to help you."

"Aw, come on, dude, that was Glinda."

"And you had to bring it up!"

"Sorry!"

"Apology accepted."

"Really?"

"In your _dreams_."

"What?"

"That bunny BS was the worst moment of my life! And then you tease me about it!"

"I said one word!"

"I will never be able to hear that word without puking again."

"Whatever." AiG flipped his hair, wrinkled his nose and dragged a desk chair over. He climbed on top. "Much, much better."

FiE kicked the legs of the wooden chair.

AiG squeaked and toppled down on top of his friend.

"You stupidbunnyjerkhole!"

And thus, they started fighting again.

The girls packing experience was no better. It involved a spilled makeup, a knocked over wheelchair and several Galindified curses. But at eleven-thirty on the dot, the group, still giving others the silent treatment, managed to meet outside by their cars.

"Whoa." BiF looked at his crush. "Sure you packed enough, Glinda?"

"FYI, Biq, I didn't even pack all my stuff. But I'm sure I still have more than you" GiA snapped, practically biting his head off.

"Ouch." AiG muttered.

"Tou-chy."

GiA flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned up her nose poutily. "Avaric, you handle my baggage. I don't want to and my rep will be ruined if I'm seen with _those_." Her disdainful eyes turned to AiG's few plain black suitcases.

"Not to mention my rep being ruined if I'm seen with _those_." muttered AiG, looking at himself amidst dozens of pink leather bags "he" was stroking lovingly. AiG quickly switched baggage with GiA.

"Dude, your rep was ruined long ago." FiE snickered.

"Oh, yeah?" Challenged AiG. "I wouldn't talk, Mr. Bunnyloversquirrelcryer."

FiE gasped.

"Oh, yeah, I went there," announced AiG. "Again."

"You know, I say let's settle this argument like men, just like you suggested earlier. I'd say your chance of winning is, hmm, zero." FiE pushed up his sleeve and flexed his slender Elphaba arm muscles, while AiG stared down in horror at his own 100 muscle free Glinda frame. "Hey Elphaba, have you ever fought Glin?" FiE tossed over his shoulder.

"No!" EiN said incredulously.

"Don't fight, Av," begged GiA. "You're gonna ruin my nails! I just got them done, at this spa in the downtown, which reminds me, I have this really funny story about a hot masseuse guy, my French manicure, and a glass of cucumber wate—"

"Glinda, have you ever worked out in your life?" AiG whine-interrupted.

GiA gasped loudly and her eyes widened. "Are you calling me fat?" she squeaked.

"No! I'm saying do you have 1 ounce of muscle on your whole body?"

"Are you sure you don't think I'm fat?" sniffled GiA.

"Of course not. But—"

"Don't bother answering about the muscle." smirked FiE as AiG attempted to flex a non existent bicep. "Av can figure it out by himself."

"Now, let's not go around throwing about insults," BiF entered himself into the argument. "It can be very offensive."

AiG rolled his eyes. "Sure, now he care—"

"Glinda, I'm sure Avaric and Fiyero didn't mean it when they said you had no muscle. You have no fat either. For the record, I think you're perfect," BiF said bashfully.

"Boq!" NiB stomped over to her crush, loving her new stomp-ability, and planted her feet in front of him. "Boq, I'm surprised at you! You have no right to be so blunt…and…and…nice to Glinda!"

"Yes I do," said BiF taken aback.

"Why, the unnamed God disapproves of that sort of behavior! You should harbor feelings for only one girl! And that is me!"

"Um, no, sweetie. I'd say that's Glin—" AiG started, but EiN _shut up!_ed him.

"Both of you, just be quiet! This is insane!" EiN shouted.

"If Avaric insists on making those kinds of comments," raged NiB, "Then no I will not be quiet! Avaric you are a sinner!"

"Like I care." AiG rolled his eyes.

"Shut up!" insisted EiN.

NiB and AiG started shouting at each other until—

Mwah!

FiE grabbed Glinda's body and kissed it.

Everyone went quiet.

"Oh shit—"

"—Alking mushrooms," piped up GiA.

"I forgot about the freaking curse. I just wanted to stop the argument…who am I now…" he looked down at himself to see Avaric. "Hey it's me…wait no it's not! My clothes don't look that stupid—"

"Hey!"

"I'm Avaric! And I kissed Glin so now…now…" FiG struggled to figure out who was who. You could practically hear the rusty gears in his head scraping together.

"You kissed me, freak!" said AiE. "I was in Glinda's body when you kissed it! I'm Avaric!"

FiG's eyes slowly widened. He swore loudly. "Ewwwww!"

"Exactly, bunny!"

"I kissed Avaric!" gasped a horror struck FiG.

"Well of course you did Glinda." said a random passerby. "You do everyday after class."

"You shut up, you freakin eavesdropper son of a—"

"Bunny," finished GiA.

The passerby hurried away looking frightened but somewhat amused, no doubt at Avaric's use of "bunny."

"Oh my god, I kissed Avaric!" exclaimed FiG yet again. "Ew! Ew! Ew!" Looking revolted, he spit onto the ground numerous times.

"You know Fi, the actual kiss was with my mouth," said GiA, slightly offended looking.

"Oh. Still! Avaric's mind was there—"

"You mean no mind," scoffed BiF.

"Whatever! Eww…!" FiG was pretty frenzied by now. He spun around frantically and stuck his tongue into the first acceptable girl's mouth he could see…Elphaba's.

After the dizziness subsided, Fiyero looked significantly more relaxed. "Okay, that felt better, kissing a girl. Who am I now…" he looked down. "Oh yeah, I'm Elphie, of course. And Elphie's…who?"

The group stared silently at him.

"You kissed Avaric again," said one brave person.

The scream lasted a good 25 seconds.

When he was finished, FiE gulped down a mouthful of air, and screamed again.

AiG was grumpily spitting repeatedly onto the sidewalk, alternating with "ew"s. _Ew. hhhhhptooey. Ew. hhhhhptooey. Ew. hhhhhptooey._

FiE ended his scream, gulped air, and went in for his 3rd.

"Stop." GiA put a hand on his shoulder to silence him.

"You have no idea how weird it is to have my 'best friend'—" AiG air-quoted "—French kiss me. No freakin idea."

"I need a girl I need a girl I need a girl," frantically repeated FiE. "Who are you?" he threw wildly at AiG.

"Avaric, you frikin jerkhole!" Shouted AiG, then resumed his spit-ew-spit-ew-spit-ew's.

"Eww go away from me! Who are you!" he yelled at the only other girl body besides himself.

"I'm Elphaba. And I would appreciate you not kissing Glinda's body as me. It's me and Glinda kissing people see, not you and Avaric kissing." EiN scowled, looking around for any witnesses.

"Elphie in Nessa, girl in girl, I don't really want to kiss Nessa's body but whatever I am in major need of some 100 girl—" without further ado FiE dove into the wheelchair and kissed EiN passionately.

Everyone was silent while they waited to see who was who.

"Fiyero, you son of a—"

"Bunny."

"I was going to say that, I swear. You son of a bunny, first I French kiss my best friend, then I make out with my sister, or so it looks like. I look like a total freak!" Elphaba raged. "And now I'm—ohmigod! I'm mysel—"

But before she could finish her sentence, AiG had dove into her and mashed his lips against her own green-tinted ones.

EiG pushed AiE off herself from where they lay on top of each other on the ground where they had fallen.

"Oh you are _so_ dead," EiG shook her head threateningly.

"I couldn't take it! Having Fiyero's mind French kiss me? Twice? You can't blame me for wanting to kiss the only all-girl, even if it was you, Greenie…" AiE tried.

"It was ALL me! I was back to my original body! And you had to go kiss me, and ruin everything!" EiG raged.

"Not to mention Elphie and I have now made out twice in public," snarled GiA menacingly.

"Whoa, I can be scary when I get mad!" nervous-laughed AiE, upon seeing what it was like to have himself threaten…himself.

"Next time you set your wrath upon one of us, it would be prudent to think about how it felt when you experienced it," piped in BiF, who had been pretty quiet throughout the whole episode.

"Yes, that's right. I side with Boq," agreed NiB suck-upedly.

"Who am I?" came a confused and innocent voice. FiN was looking around cluelessly. "Seriously. Who am I?"

"You're Fiyero," reminded NiB.

"Oh yeah." FiN remembered. "I am. God, finally I kissed a girl that time, right?"

"Yes, that's correct, but you created the impression of a romantic interest between—" BiF turned a little pink "—Elphaba and Glinda, for which I apologize on behalf of Fiyero, my poor Glinda. And Elphaba. And you created as well the impression of a romantic interest between—" BiF turned bright scarlet "—Nessa and Elphaba." he mumbled.

EiG, GiA and NiB all had murderous expressions on their faces.

"Uh, sorry, guys." FiN said insincerely. "Whoa, wait, oh god, that means I'm kissing a 'lesbian'—" he turned to GiA "—and a—" he turned to EiG "'lesbian freak who makes out with her own sister.' God, that's bad! I'm really sorry you guys! Now everyone's rep is trashed cuz of that! Sorry!" The three girls who had 'kissed' inappropriate people looked truly ready to murder him. He changed subjects at lightning speed. "Um, so who's body am I in now…" FiN pushed himself out of his chair and instantly collapsed from Nessa's defective legs.

"Shi-talking mushrooms," Everyone said along with Fiyero.

GiA offered him a hand up. He took it and heaved himself back into the wheelchair.

"Me kissing Nessa is even worse than you kissing Elphie, Av. Any day."

"Yeah, I'll take that bet." AiE mumbled, miserably looking down at his green body.

BiF, who didn't have anything to be upset about, suggested, "Shall we proceed to the penthouse and sort out our concerns later?"

FiN glowered. "Sure, _Fiyero_."

"I apologize for—"

"Whatever, Shorty. Let's just get out of here before anyone screws up again like that."

The group loaded their luggage into their respective cars (except FiN, who was horrified to find out, Nessa didn't _have_ a car) and loaded their luggage (again, except for FiN, who couldn't) and drove off.

Except FiN because he couldn't! He road with AiE, best friends again. They were both in total agreement that Glinda ruined reputations and that is was kind of weird being green.

At the penthouse, on Avenue Emerald (jGirl: do _not_ ask me where that came from, I do not even know myself.), the group met up.

AiE lazily surveyed the high-rise building. "It'll do, I suppose."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" BiF gushed. "It's _huge_!"

"Biq, darling, don't do that, you're making Fiyero sound all…"

"Impoverished." EiG supplied helpfully.

"Exactly!" GiA finger-gunned her best friend gratefully. "What does that mean again?"

Eye-roll.

NiB, thrilled to shreds upon seeing the revolving doors, skipped over to them. "Oh, I've always loved these! I never could go in them before, but now I can!" Merrily, she pushed it open and started running around in them. Instead of getting out, however, she just kept going. And going. And going. And…

"Ugh, Nessa, you're making me dizzy." GiA buried her face in EiG's shoulder, realized it was her own shoulder and settled for BiF until AiE pulled them apart.

"Nessie, stop it." EiG called mildly. "You'll make yourself sick."

BiF was blushing furiously.

"Now everyone thinks I'm a five-year-old kid." he moaned.

"Or a nun who just got let out of the convent." an amused AiG commented wryly.

"I'm just having fun!" NiB squealed, pushing even harder.

"Nessa—"

_Thud._

"Oof." NiB grunted.

Everyone except EiG and BiF snickered loudly.

"Get up before anyone sees you." BiF hissed.

She tried, but couldn't move.

"Wait…what's happening?" EiF panicked. "Nessa, are you okay?"

"I'm fine…but I'm a little, well…stuck."

"Oh my freakin Oz, Boq just jammed up the revolving doors!" AiE cried, feeling happier than he had in a long, long time.

BiF looked close to tears.

"Help me!" NiB howled.

"We can't and we won't." FiN laughed. "At least, I can't, and nobody in their right mind would help anyone as stupid as you."

"Ouch." GiA muttered.

"No, it's not that. I mean, even _I_ wouldn't do anything that childish, promise. So—"

"Nessa has to be really stupid! I get it!" GiA beamed.

"_Thanks, _Glinda." NiB hissed.

"This is more embarrassing than when I was born and the nurses thought I was a girl." BiF whimpered, his eyes watering.

"Boq, don't you _dare_ cry."

GiA took out her pink Ozphone and started snapping pictures.

"I'll call maintenance." EiG offered, pulling out her black Ozphone calling 411 and then dialing.

"Hello? Um, we reserved a penthouse here but it looks like, um, one of us is in a—" she paused to think of the right word. "—jam. Could you come out and help us? Thanks." She hung up. "They're on their way."

Less than two minutes later, they spotted someone coming through the lobby, towards the doors.

GiA squeaked, swooning.

Because that someone was _really_ hot.

That someone who was really hot saw the trouble. He shrugged, rolled up his sleeves and pushed the doors with all his mite. NiB rolled out, where EiG gave her a hand up.

"There, that wasn't too bad." That someone who was really hot said. "My name is Melville and I'm the superintendent of this building."

"You are…!" GiA blinked, stunned. "I will…see you…every day…?"

Melville looked uncomfortable. "Yeah. But I'm not—"

"Um, wait, what gender are you?" AiE asked faux-sweetly. No one fawned over him like that. Were super-strong brunettes the new toned blondes?

The landlord's manly jaw dropped. "Um, yeah, I'm a girl."

GiA screamed.

"That was sarcasm, of course I'm a guy." Melville reassured her, shooting AiE a dirty look. "But I am not g—"

"Sorry, it's just kind of hard to tell." FiN piped up innocently.

Melville glared.

"So, here is the key to your room and this building." he tried to act like nothing had happened. "And there are a couple ground rules."

Were super-strong brunettes who actually _believed _in rules the new toned blondes who knew how to party, better than anyone except for a kind-of-but-not-really super strong brunettes who did know how to party?

My thoughts, mused AiE, do not make sense.

"Okay, rule number one." Melville looked pointedly at GiA. "I am straight and the boys are not allowed to flirt with me."

_Great_.

"Number two. No parties that I am not invited to."

_Even better. Not._

"Number three." Melville looked up and met their gaze. "Guys have to pay rent."

_Shi-talkingmushrooms._

"And number four, no loud noises on…" he paused. "Nights when I tell you no loud noises are to be made. Do I need to explain that any further?"

_No._

"Good." Melville smiled. "We understand each other."

**AN: Shi-talking mushrooms! Okay, reviews please! Use a quote. If you liked it, tell me what you liked, pretty please? Who thinks we can get this story up to 100 reviews? **_**I do!**_** Btw, awards are up this year…I GOT NOMINATED! As most humorous author AND this was most humorous story. I LOVE YOU! Yay!! I was, like, running around screaming! I'm so excited to see what wins…don't forget your nominations! I _love _getting nominated...wink wink nudge nudge. It's my first year here, so I'm not sure how to do this. But good luck everyone who was nominated! :)And do not forget to review!**


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